The Newtown Shooting of Sandy Hook Elementary School

My heart goes out to all the parents of the children in Sandy Hook Elementary School.

For those who suffered loses from this tragedy, I know nothing can replace the joy and love which has been taken away from you prematurely.

I can’t even imagine seeing my kids get hurt when falling off the chair. Yet alone, having anymore pain than that.

Since I became a mother, I empathised mothers who go through tragedies and my heart somehow bleeds for them too. I can’t really explain it.

I am in Singapore and the tragedy is in U.S & yet I felt like I wish I could do more to help those parents who lost their child. There is nothing which will make them feel better -  ever. Their lives have been altere - FOREVER ....  But I just want to help in any way I can.

Meanwhile, let’s not forget about those parents who brought home their frightened children who had been forced to go through such horrifying ordeal. This is not fair at any level! Now how many more young kids have to die before they f**king do something about the guns?!

Pardon my language but while America hailed the need for guns to protect themselves, it has been creating more tragedies in the last few years. I don't see any other people in developed countries need guns to protect themselves!!!

The theory is as such, if you have guns available to you to protect yourselves, there are bound to be someone out there who are sick in the head who might abuse this privilege.

However if you do not make it available to ANYONE, nobody can get hurt – at least not through another shooting. Mass killing has been on the rise that many fears that a “copycat” murder may be in plan already.

As we speak, we have kids or adults creating twitter account or blog pages hailing how great the killings are!!! That is just too sick to even be imagined.

A teacher’s son killed his mother on the face, left home(apparently geared with heavy arms) went to the school she taught, went to her class and started a shooting spree ON CHILDREN!!! This could be America’s worst mass school shooting!!

It’s 15^th December today. Only 10 days short of Christmas. I could imagine their parents have already anticipated their Xmas gifts under the Xmas tree and told them (probably everyday) that they have to wait till Xmas before they could open their gifts. Like any parents would.These kids probably were in their best behaviour because they wanted Santa to come with their choice of toys! And probably Santa DID put the toys they wanted. All these….. still waiting under that tree…. And on Xmas day, it’ll hit these parents really hard when there are unopened boxes under that tree…. The same boxes which the kids have been shaking and trying to guess the last 2 weeks! My heart bleeds for them ....

It tears my heart to even imagine half the devastation these parents are going through. This certainly do not need to happen again. If some precautions are done.

In this scenario, the shooter apparently has Asperger. While we all know that usually someone who has Asperger can react irrationally, it wouldn’t have been this grief if he didn’t have the option to use a gun.

Guns are used in every action packed movies and shows that signify power and skills. Just imagine Bruce Willis, Mel Gibson, Angelina Jolie, Collin Farrell -who wouldn’t wanna be seen to have such skills like James Bond does.

Among 98 percent of viewers of these movies understand that this is fiction. And that this should not happen in real life. However, having said that, there are 2 percent to would go home, imagining the glory of his death if his name comes out on the paper because he killed people.

OR this 2 percent might think that that would be a way to solve problems. Just kill everyone. Like an escape.

This news hit me hard. I saw Obama’s speech about this tragedy. He is addressing the situation as a parent. And it’s touching to see him reach out and said that his heart is broken. I just want him to know that of all the people in the world, at this instance, he has the most power to change this situation.

Please do something about the ownership of a gun in America. For the sake of the children. For the sake of the future.

Pipi Longstocking

After a few days off work from being quite ill, I finally made my "debut" appearance in the office today. I'm sure my employees are bitching about my absence the whole 4 days. I'm not about to play my violin & explain  to them how I couldn't even get out of bed for a few days! Not a fan of basking self-pity in a hat!

Anyway, I came almost as abruptly as I left. ;) Went straight into the meeting room where I know the rest would be on a Friday at this time. They were discussing about our own marketing campaign. I was quiet, listening to their ideas for a while. They were talking about finding reasons to send out greetings so we will be remembered.

So I said let’s not forget fun stuff like Halloween. And all thoughts were circled into this idea. We even talked about having a party for our clients. I suddenly exclaimed excitedly  “I’ll dress up as PIPI LONGSTOCKING!”

Then there was silence. There were a few smile but most of all, there were faces of a question mark on the faces of our younger staff.

“Who is PIPI LONGSTOCKING?” One of the staff finally asked.

Goodness me! I finally realised that most of my designers are in their 20s. I grew up with Sesame Street & Electric Company. They grew up with Wiggles & Spongebob Square pants… They don’t know who Smurfs were till Hollywood decided to make an animation about it last year! Oh gosh…. I suddenly felt so old, ancient….I’m  a dinosaur! Almost extinct!

So I looked it up quickly & showed the rest about PIPI from WIKIPEDIA - Pippi Longstocking (Swedish Pippi Långstrump) is a fictional character in a series of children's books by Swedish author Astrid Lindgren, and adapted into multiple films and television series. Pippi was named by Lindgren's then nine-year-old daughter, Karin, who requested a get-well story from her mother one day when she was home sick from school.Nine-year-old Pippi is unconventional, assertive, and has superhuman strength, being able to lift her horse one-handed without difficulty. She frequently mocks and dupes adults she encounters, an attitude likely to appeal to young readers; however, Pippi usually reserves her worst behavior for the most pompous and condescending of adults. Pippi's anger is reserved for the most extreme cases, such as when a man ill-treats her horse. Like Peter Pan, Pippi does not want to grow up. She is the daughter of a buccaneer captain and as such has adventurous stories to tell. She has four best friends, two animal (her horse and a monkey) and two human, the neighbor's children Tommy and Annika

They were like… “Oh,ok”

I felt so not cool! Damn it! I wanted to argue about it and defend myself and I was like … Hmmm, what’s the point? I am older than everyone in the office. Mind you, being 36 and being the boss ain’t that shabby either. But 36 seems ancient to most of my employees.

I am working in the advertising company whereby being hip is part of breathing technique! We have to be “IN” all the time…. Our designers are constantly checking out new bogus ideas. I do struggle sometimes to stay abreast to the fast pace life of an advertising company but I have to say, I love the excitement of the advertising industry! I’m a little addicted to the thrill of presenting our final product & hearing people gasped in awe….

Anyway back to PIPI. One of my employees even went on saying “Hey that’s a great idea, we can have that as a theme for our party! The old animated characters!” I threw a book at him. He ducked & missed it! Damn it! He so deserve it!

“It’s not OLD!! You are just 8 years younger than me! There must be something overlapping!”

But the whole gang agreed that our clients probably would find it funny to have the characters they are familiar with (at their age). So, they were looking at Care Bears, Flint Stones, etc.

I am not that old ….  Am I?

Potty Training - Not such a glamourous title is it?

The whole truth about potty training is indeed not glamourous. There are some potties whereby your kid would do his/her business on & then you throw it into the toilet bowl. Something like what Kate Gosselin used for her children.

I didn't wanna have to clean that potty. :( Sorry. I can hear some mothers fuming now. ;) Anyway, I used the toy'R'us little girl/boy toilet, bought steps for them to be able to get up there & be able to do it independently.

It took me a full week. I know some mothers did it in a day. Or 3 days. But ya, I'm not a super mom. I had 7 full days.

While there are many ways to train your kids, I went with slowly letting my daughter see what I do at the toilet. Ok, if you count that, then that's two weeks! I basically explained to her what I am doing & why I do it there. Showed her the routine & end it with the flush ( she somehow enjoys the flushing for some weird reason)

After a week of that, I slowly asked her about the idea of not using diaper. Started with half day of no diaper. She didn't understand controlling her bladder concept. I said "tell me when you wanna pee". And she told me when she was actually peeing!

There I was wiping her puddle golden shower! ;) There hasn't been BIG accident - thank god!

From half a day, she began to like the idea of no diaper. She asked for full day of no diaper. I allowed her to do so. Sometimes, I suggested we go to the toilet for her to pee. She did it & got herself a chocolate. If she doesn't pee, I would tell her that the next time she pees there, she will get one. So one is waiting for her.

Slowly...very slowly, she was grasping the concept of "getting the chocolate" -yup, not really the potty training part! Sometimes, when she remembers she would wailed out, and we would rush her to the toilet, have her pee successfully on the toilet, and she gets her chocolate.

Whenever she forgot about the reward, the accident would happen. Yes, it happened so many times, it's too easy just to give up & just stuck a diaper on her. Especially when I also have a one year old to run after. EXHAUSTION is the key word here. But I didn't give up.

Somehow, the number of times of her running to me announcing (to the world - yes she was that loud) that she wanted to pee slowly became more than the accidents. Eventually, it didn't happen anymore. We (My husband & I) celebrated it -well, maybe we just wanted to open that bottle of champagne so bad!  ;)

Today, she only wears diapers when she is sleeping. Fair enough. I thought since she is not aware yet while she is sleeping, that can be another step.

Another reason to pop the bottle open! ;)

Losing That Baby Talk

Today I came into my daughter's room & she squealed "Mommy, stars!!!"  She pointed at the new lamp with stars on it. I suddenly realised that she said it right "Stars!"  She used to say it "Chi-Cha" As in Twinkle Twinkle Little Star - She shortened it to "Chi-Cha" for the whole sentence & had since referred to star as "Chi-Cha" .... until recently.

And I also realised that when she wants something she goes "Please, mommy, please, please!"  As if to show me that "Hey, you want me to be polite. I'm polite now. How come I still don't get it my way?" :)

I somehow felt she is growing too fast. Maybe it's pretty normal. She is able to tell the maid that she doesn't want cold milk but instead wants it warmed up, but not too hot, just warm. 

She has a whole lot of opinion over lots of things. It does make it more difficult these days jsut to get out of the door because she may not be too happy with the dress she is wearing, or her hair clip or the shoes didn't go .... Whatever.

She's only 2! I wonder how it would be at 16. These days when she is upset, the whole world can tell. Having said that, she is my first born and I did cultivate & invest more time with her. I guess secretly I expect her to be a whole lot better.

My 1 year old son - yes he is one but I feel like he is still a baby. My daughter might have grown up quicker since she knows there's another baby coming or maybe the myth about girls maturing earlier could be true.

I found myself missing my daughter's baby talk. We have never encouraged baby talk. When she said "Chi-Cha" we would gently corrected her "That's right sweetheart, it's a star." And yet, now that she said it right, I was like "Aaaw, she grew up too fast!"

Mothers! You can never please them can you?! :)

Anyway, I'm watching her grow ... and last night when both kids were giggling and laughing under the shower, I squeezed my husband's hand and whispered "Well done, hon!  We did it. Those are our 2 notorious little kids. And they are going towards independence."

It's scary. The feeling like they don't need you anymore becomes more apparent. It's little things like my daughter pushing me away at play school saying "Mommy, go home. I want friends"

Sob! Sob! Sob!  Haha ...drama queen .... i think if I am watching Mamma Mia again, (to that part whereby Meryl streep was combing her daughter's hair before her wedding & she reminisces her daughter growing up) I would probably break down in tears. Now I know how that really feels.

To be a mother. To have a part of you embedded in one (or two or more) of those tiny creatures called children.


I love them unconditionally. Whether they will love me back when they are older .... we'll see....

Jon & Kate Plus 8

Have you heard of them? I might have stumbled on their show 5 years ago and actually got hooked to it. I find it amazing how they could raise all 8 children and I was impressed by Kate Gosselin, the way she handled the situation.

Over time, she changed. And now that I have 2 children of my own, I can understand the stress and why she became the way she was. I'm going crazy with 2 kids sometimes - imagine 8!! So I do watched in awe & wonder what I would have done if it was me.

Typically, marriage is a blissful thing. Then babies start to change the normal routine & with all honesty, the lack of sleep & the stress of having the bundle of joy can be taxing on the most loving couple.

I once watched a movie....THE STORY OF US. It started with Bruce Willis & Michelle Pfeiffer sitting in front of a mediator trying to talk about their marriage. The movie started to unveil about how they met, how they fell in love...way before the children were involved.

Then they showed how children came into their lives & their priorities & attention were channelled differently. It wasn't just about the couple. There are other individuals whom you are responsible for!

I once shared that video to my best friend. I told her that it's normal that over time, love would "graduate" to a different level. Hopefully there graduation is mutual & therefore we grow old together. Only then the fairy tale ending of "Happily Ever After" can be mentioned.

However, there are undeniably high rate of divorce happening everywhere in the world. Women are getting too strong minded and they know what they want, how they want it & when they want it.

While the "graduation" should be seen as a natural process of life, many men would whine and complain that their wives are not paying attention to them anymore, etc, etc.

That creates resentment and then to disagreements, misunderstandings, arguments .....

What happened to Kate & Jon is the same thing. The stress of raising all those joyful soul can be taxing on them. While Kate was trying to make sure that everything went according to routine, Jon preferred to just assimilate into her schedule.

Over time, we can see the stress on Kate's shoulders & Jon became her punching bag. It will always be Jon's fault for everything. When you really think about it, that's only because Jon is the closest person to whom she felt most comfortable with.

As much as I prayed that they didn't split up (Which we all know they did), I eventually do feel like Kate did become a bit too harsh as time passes. Yes I agree that it was taxing to take care of 8. But she may have taken Jon for granted.

You can only push someone to their limit before they exploded. It took Jon 5 long years. Which was amazing. He stuck to the kids for those exhausting time till when the kids understood what the word DIVORCE means.

This Jon & Kate issue was down and out..... I only thought about it again recently. My daughter was looking thru some children videos and one of them was their kids singing Christmas Carol.

When my daughter went to sleep, I got curious to what really happened to them since I lost interest in watching their show after the tabloid started about one scandal after another.

I YouTube some interviews post the break up & I watched the explanation and the confessions. Jon did go berserk for a while. But he eventually calmed down and now he is in a happy place.

One thing he said is true. There are so many people out there who have many children too, and they do not have reality show & they survive. Life will definitely has a way of working out for them too.

While Kate is begging the media to take her up on a TV project, it became a little apparent that Kate may have been addicted to the limelight and just refused to shy away gracefully.

I tried sitting down to watch Kate Plus 8 and I lasted 3 minutes top! It was a show too full of herself. I couldn’t make myself watch further.

While I wish the kids well - it was fun watching the kids grow. It really was. I even secretly have favourites! :) - I do hope that Jon & Kate somehow manage the situation to make it less awkward for them to be around one or the other.

All the best. Meanwhile for all of us with kids growing up in front of our very eyes, we are still in the test of time. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.

Maybe even more joy & love than we already have.....

Mommy's Curse!

The children could be a handful. They are the best thing in life but they do have personalities now which means it can get difficult. I'm THAT sensitive now during one tantrum session, my daughter screamed "I don't like u!"

I felt it sharp & curt - like a stab in my heart. I know she doesn't know better - she was just saying that to tell me that she was upset but it came out that blunt. But it got me thinking -  she's only 2, imagine her words when she's 16. Can I take it then?

When I know she understands her  words quite well- what excuse am I gonna feed my heart? Of course, that is if she turns out that horrific. If not, I'll have a better heart to spare. Woes of a mommy.

I know the peak is yet to come, she'll one day come to me & tell me "Mommy, I'm gonna do sky diving! Or bungee jumping!"

So far we are adopting the story that I never did all those because I don't know how to explain to her why she shouldn't do it while I did those stuff when I was 18. (Which happened to be not too long ago ;))

I mean she should go for it ..really. But this annoying maternal gut thing which screams "She might get hurt!! You have to protect her!" Yet how do you even try to make her understand that - that I was just worried about her. Even I didn't understand that kind of invisible bond before I became a mom myself. So why would she.

One thing I resent this title of being a mommy is the worrywart badge that comes with it. You WORRY about your children ALL THE TIME. I don't enjoy that & I hate the fact that I'm going through that now. I'm struggling to keep the balance.

I'm pushing my kids to do what they can while holding them back when I sense danger. That's maternal stuff because I realized even daddies do not understand that.

Daddies in general are more relaxed about children upbringing. It could be because they know that the children are in good hands & therefore they don't need to work that hard since they know the worrisome mommies would go their extra mile to make sure that everything is more than ok anyway.

Sometimes the more relaxed attitude bothers me but more because I resent the fact that they are able to be relax and I can't. I'm not saying I'm one of those obnoxious mothers who are smoldering their kids big time.

In general I want my kids to explore the world & get down & dirty,exploring all possibilities. I've seen parents who buy knee socks so their children do not get sore knees when they are crawling. I want my kids to rough it out & if it means they will have sore knees, that's part of growing up. I survived it. I'm sure they will too.