Sweet Parting ...



" Goodbye My Lover
Goodbye My Friend
You Have Been The One
You Have Been The One For Me"

- JAMES BLUNT SONG AT THE BACKGROUND -



 

It’s hard to believe that I got all sentimental over a car. The saying, you don’t know what you have until you lose it. My husband and I bought a car together when we started getting serious in our relationship. We bought a family car. I guess it came with big hope for the future. We took turns using the car. And at one point when my office was out of town, I took the car for a while.

Then we got married…. And that was the car we used for our wedding. Well at least the local wedding. (We married twice in 2 countries) When my youngest brother go married, we used our car as well.

Then I got pregnant. For someone who was not supposed to be able to conceive (Read “MIRACLE”), we found out that I was pregnant & I remembered sobbing with joy in that car! 38 weeks later, I remembered very well putting our tiny firstborn into that car, and drove to welcome her into our home.

I remembered turning to the backseat ever so often to check if she was ok….or if the sun was too much on her… the typical worries of a new mom. It was also in that car when we held hands & just watched the sun set.

It has traces of history marked every inch of it.  And today when I saw it drove away into a tiny dot, I felt a little tightness in my heart.

I know you find me silly for being too attached to the car. Especially when my husband ended up using it more than I do eventually. But it was OUR FAMILY car. We bought the car with a hope to fill it up & we did fill it up with 2 car seats! :)

Lately, my husband has sole use of the car. He uses it to fetch us wherever we needed him, to drop my daughter to school or to help us with groceries. He would be there for us.  However, should I need to travel during the day, I usually just call for a cab instead of having him chauffer me around.

Unlike in U.S, the cabs in Singapore do not have car seats. So traveling with 2 year old & one year old can be a little difficult to handle when you also have to deal with the pram & your own stuff. Still, I managed to tolerate the inconvenience & accepted the lifestyle. While my daughter was being dropped off to school, we had the maid fetching her from school every day mid-day.

That changed recently. There was a fatal accident near where I lived. A 2 year old was in the cab with her maid. Her maid was sitting behind the driver while the 2 year old was sitting in the middle of the cab, unbuckled. The cab was hit & the 2 year old was flung through the front glass window & died instantly. It was reported that the child’s mother has reminded the maid every day to buckle her child when taking the cab home. The maid claimed that that was the first time the child wasn’t buckled. Coincidence? I don’t think so. The thing about maids is that it’s just a job. No parent could check if they actually do buckle their kids in the cab.

Anyway, since the news, I became paranoid about it & have been fetching my own child. 2 days later, I decided to get myself a car so that I can chauffer my daughter to and fro school. And when I thought about safety, no price is too expensive. I could just imagine how that parent feels losing their only child… my heart goes out to them.

So while I was in the midst of getting a car, we were discussing about the options. Everyone thought that my husband was going to sell his to buy mine. But actually we didn’t plan to do anything with his car. But an idea was planted into his brain when we talked about stuff. It’s actually true that the car seats would be in my car now and therefore during weekends he would jump into my car instead of the other way round.

So when we really thought about it, he really doesn’t need a big family car anymore does he? So we talked about it last Friday. The option of selling our first car. He called the car dealer and arranged for a viewing on Monday. We had a fantastic weekend, driving around … none of us even realised that that would be the last time we all would be cruising in that oh-so-comfortable car.

On Monday, my daughter became unwell. We drove to the clinic nearby and after that he went off to let his car being viewed. When he came back, he showed me a cheque.

Yup, that car is such a good car which has been so well maintained with very low mileage – who wouldn’t grab it. All of a sudden, my heart sank deep & I went silent. We went for dinner but I wasn’t in the mood to eat. I was quiet & inside me I felt a little confuse, trying hard to understand what just happened.

On the way home, I told my husband I didn’t think it was going to be sold that fast!

This afternoon, we left home at 1 pm to have one last spin in our car. The car that was with us since we built “US”. It was pretty sad for me. The kids were too young to understand. The hand over was supposed to be at 1:30 pm. When we arrived at our car park, the dealer was already there…. It felt like our car was on the death bed & the dealer was like the black angel pulling the plug off. It was a strange feeling. I reminded myself that it was just a car!

I looked around the car…. And found my daughter’s health book which we lost like a year ago! :) Ok, that’s not enough reason to pull me out of my sad state.

Anyway, we shook hands. Took a last picture together & we all waved till we couldn’t see the car anymore…. As we took the lift up to our apt, I felt a strange loss in my heart. Weird. It’s just a car!!! I reminded myself…. But I can’t help how I am feeling… ok…. Let me be sad & gloat about it. Hard for you to understand anyway…. But I’ll get over it….

I’ll feel better when I get my car soon! Meanwhile…. Sob! Sob! Sob!

                                                                                                         

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother

It was a fantabulous weekend.... then come Monday. This song sums up how I feel today. Rebellious!!! Thanks to Meredith Brooks wherever you are right now.

*****

I hate the world today, you're so good to me
I know but I can't change tried to tell you but you look at me
Like maybe I'm an angel underneath, innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried, you must have been relieved to see the softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused

I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream, I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change and today won't mean a thing

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream, I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

Just when you think you've got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool you do what you do
And don't try to save me

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream, I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

I'm a bitch, I'm a tease, I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer, I'm your angel undercover
I've been numbed, I'm revived, can't say I'm not alive
You know, I wouldn't want it any other way

Heidi Klum & Seal

I'm still hoping that there is a shooting star, they both, wherever they are, look at it ... and thought... "hey let's give this another shot"

Pleeeeeassseee.........!!!

I really do like them. Heidi is the most down to earth human being & even though she is up there, she never forgets to look what's stuck under the sole of her shoes. Yes, she's that down to earth!

Almost every year, we anticipated for their whacky renewal of their vows! It was just too lovely to see them renew their vows after having gone thru so many years together and so many kids (and looking gorgeous! Did I tell you already that I love her?! ;) )

She's an insipiration. If she can look good having four kids out of them body & look that smoking hot... so can I with my two kids. (Never mind the fact that she's a supermodel! Let me dream will you?)

When I read about the breakup, I ordered for a nice gin tonic and sat there reading thru the article almost with a magnifying glass, as if I could spot the reason behind this breakup and somehow go "Voila! I have a solution! And you will stay married again!"

But I didn't ...

So they have separated. I'm sad .... More gin tonic please! Make it a double! :)

Jon & Kate Plus 8

Have you heard of them? I might have stumbled on their show 5 years ago and actually got hooked to it. I find it amazing how they could raise all 8 children and I was impressed by Kate Gosselin, the way she handled the situation.

Over time, she changed. And now that I have 2 children of my own, I can understand the stress and why she became the way she was. I'm going crazy with 2 kids sometimes - imagine 8!! So I do watched in awe & wonder what I would have done if it was me.

Typically, marriage is a blissful thing. Then babies start to change the normal routine & with all honesty, the lack of sleep & the stress of having the bundle of joy can be taxing on the most loving couple.

I once watched a movie....THE STORY OF US. It started with Bruce Willis & Michelle Pfeiffer sitting in front of a mediator trying to talk about their marriage. The movie started to unveil about how they met, how they fell in love...way before the children were involved.

Then they showed how children came into their lives & their priorities & attention were channelled differently. It wasn't just about the couple. There are other individuals whom you are responsible for!

I once shared that video to my best friend. I told her that it's normal that over time, love would "graduate" to a different level. Hopefully there graduation is mutual & therefore we grow old together. Only then the fairy tale ending of "Happily Ever After" can be mentioned.

However, there are undeniably high rate of divorce happening everywhere in the world. Women are getting too strong minded and they know what they want, how they want it & when they want it.

While the "graduation" should be seen as a natural process of life, many men would whine and complain that their wives are not paying attention to them anymore, etc, etc.

That creates resentment and then to disagreements, misunderstandings, arguments .....

What happened to Kate & Jon is the same thing. The stress of raising all those joyful soul can be taxing on them. While Kate was trying to make sure that everything went according to routine, Jon preferred to just assimilate into her schedule.

Over time, we can see the stress on Kate's shoulders & Jon became her punching bag. It will always be Jon's fault for everything. When you really think about it, that's only because Jon is the closest person to whom she felt most comfortable with.

As much as I prayed that they didn't split up (Which we all know they did), I eventually do feel like Kate did become a bit too harsh as time passes. Yes I agree that it was taxing to take care of 8. But she may have taken Jon for granted.

You can only push someone to their limit before they exploded. It took Jon 5 long years. Which was amazing. He stuck to the kids for those exhausting time till when the kids understood what the word DIVORCE means.

This Jon & Kate issue was down and out..... I only thought about it again recently. My daughter was looking thru some children videos and one of them was their kids singing Christmas Carol.

When my daughter went to sleep, I got curious to what really happened to them since I lost interest in watching their show after the tabloid started about one scandal after another.

I YouTube some interviews post the break up & I watched the explanation and the confessions. Jon did go berserk for a while. But he eventually calmed down and now he is in a happy place.

One thing he said is true. There are so many people out there who have many children too, and they do not have reality show & they survive. Life will definitely has a way of working out for them too.

While Kate is begging the media to take her up on a TV project, it became a little apparent that Kate may have been addicted to the limelight and just refused to shy away gracefully.

I tried sitting down to watch Kate Plus 8 and I lasted 3 minutes top! It was a show too full of herself. I couldn’t make myself watch further.

While I wish the kids well - it was fun watching the kids grow. It really was. I even secretly have favourites! :) - I do hope that Jon & Kate somehow manage the situation to make it less awkward for them to be around one or the other.

All the best. Meanwhile for all of us with kids growing up in front of our very eyes, we are still in the test of time. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.

Maybe even more joy & love than we already have.....

Born This Way - Tribute to the bullied

Should I be sorry for being different? Should I be sorry that people have difficulty putting me into one category because they can't figure me out? Most definitely not!


I know I'm gorgeous! ;) If I say so myself!


And I am even more beautiful deep inside inside this big heart of mine. I wish I have the money to save the world. But no, you won't see me walking in my bikini on a stage & saying "World Peace" in my most sexy voice.


I just feel like I need to do something to help out in this world. My kids are living in it now. I can protect them now. But come 16 years time when they think they know more than mommy & daddy, they will spread their wings and experience the cruel world we all live in.


I lived in a small countryside when I was growing up. The kind of place where you can even be running across the road & you know your children will not get hit. People are careful in that area. That was in Australia.


After a tragic incident (not close to where I used to live), I was placed in a boarding school in U.S. Yes, I had an accent from down under. Mind you, I was also from the "Hampston" of Australia. I could easily become a laughing stock of everyone with my well mannered sentences while everyone around me use the word "fuck" in every sentences.


I was different, I wasn't white, I wasn't hispanic, I wasn't black, I wasn't chinese, they couldn't really get what I was. I speak differently, I dressed differently so typically I would have been a perfect target for a big bully!


But I wasn't. I have a great feeling what I went through right before entering U.S had a lot to do with it. Had I not had tha tragic accident and lost my parents -I would probably think my social life is all that matters to me. I mean, why not? It was at that age when you just want to be accepted. So I wasn't bullied. But I was healing from a great loss .Therefore my concern wasn't about what people say about me.


Over a quick 3 day period, they realised that I couldn't be bothered with their words & I smirked in a way that nothing could break me.


However, growing up as a teenager in U.S can be very different from anywhere else in the world. In every school, there are a handful of junior kids learned from the seniors that the only way to survive in this cruel world is to pick on a victim & work them to death. Somehow they believe that if they don't do that, they'll probably be the victim themselves.


Most times, bullying comprises of a group of people. If you hand pick them on their own, or even speak to them alone, without the backup of the rest of the group, you will realise that these individuals are pretty harmless if not scared.


Recently, a few articles were in the papers which were very disturbing.


The following are a few which I could remember:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2082912/Disturbing-details-emerge-Asian-American-soldiers-final-hours-forced-comrades-crawl-100-metres-gravel-pelted-rocks.html

http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/12/28/9781587-bullied-girls-suicide-has-ongoing-impact

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2011/09/15/exclusive-new-york-14-year-old-bullied-to-death/


http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2011/11/was-a-10-year-old-honor-student-bullied-to-death/


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_of_Megan_Meier


http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2010/03/30/inside-the-mind-of-a-bully.html


How would we know if our children have low tolerance for childish namecalling. Your children can be as normal as anyone's. You can never tell.God forbid if the above happened to your child and you lose your child due to this silly-ness, can you live your life without questioning what has this world become? I fear to even think about it.


I remembered being called a lot of names while I was in U.S but non of which would bother me enough to lose my life over. These so-called bullies are actually scared of being bullied. They want to protect themselves. People who tried that stunt on me, lasted at most 3 days before they got tired for my non-reaction or they felt stupid when I give them the "are you for real?" look. ;) I think I have a natural knack to make them feel like they just made a fool of themselves!


So the question is - how would you know that your child needs your moral support more than you think she does? It's just scary! You don't.


Some of the suicide were triggered from cyber friends!! It's crazy!!


Lady Gaga & Kim Kardashian came forward recently to highlight the weight of this issue. It's a big issue. No parents would like to lose their kids because of bullying. It's a serious thing. And maybe hopefully, something drastic could be done to the bully to burst them out of their bubble & realise the impact they have to other people's lives.


Easy said that done.


The first article about the Chinese-American soldier being brutally abused by 8 grown men - who I suspected do actually have brains but somehow didn't really know how to use them. Ego & pride got in their way & I hope they do not go unpunished.


How do we teach the youngs when the adults are behaving as such?


How do you justify punishing a fellow American who wants to serve his own country? Why don't these soldiers focus on their real target instead? Or has the world become too peaceful for them that they handpick their own people to horn their "brutal" inner traits?


Yes he was Chinese but people - he was American!! What's up with that?!?


My heart breaks for his family. To have a child who wants to serve the country & putting his life out there for the country, only to find out he was killed or driven to death by his own fellow men.


I can't imagine getting such news. I felt this strong heavy feeling in my heart when I read the news. I can just imagine how broken they would be at the moment.


PRIVATE DANNY CHEN, PHOEBE PRINCE, KAMERON JACOBSEN, MEGAN MEIER, ASHLYNN CONNER - Rest in peace. Our condolences go out to their families. Hugs!!

For the rest of us, please spread the word around for all the victims of the bully. Hopefully there is a solution for this. I wish I have more power to change the world, but I don't (for now). So for now, let's keep a watch out & let's protect those we still can.

Miss Understood

I've always been gregarious & very vocal about my opinion. At the same time I know where to draw the line & not to offend anyone. Well, at least I try... ;)

Last night I had a conversation with my husband - during one of our quality time we spend with each other. We take this time to talk about everything under the sun & should we have an issue to bring up, we will TALK about it then.

One of the things which he brought up was the fact that I keep a distance with people who misunderstood me.

My theory is if I try to be nice to you & you take the opposite road, you make me not want to be in your way. So it's not really my fault really. :)

See, the thing is, my life has evolved - from a carefree party girl (who has a high paying job on top of a ladder) to being a mommy of two little babies (and my own company to run). At both time, I've always had lesser time in hand but I still give out more time to others..

When I wasn't married or have children, my job was the biggest responsibility for me. Therefore I did have time to still entertain people's stupidity.

At the moment, my hands are full. So I didn't try hard these days to fulfill everyone's wish to get the satisfaction to put me down & having to pull myself back up again. I know I'm tough like that.  Time's up!!! Those days are over!

My priority these days is clear. I don't have time for people's game. I made life simple for myself & I like it that way.

Remember I said I do my best not to offend people - well, the guilty will be offended about me writing this but heck if I can't even have freedom of speech here, it's not really a blog is it? And I bet the rest of you are dying to know anyway. So guilty people - bear with it. Read & learn.

For example, I'm not the favorite with my hubby's side. And I don't have a problem with it.

There are bigger things in life than struggling to be on other people's 'favorite' book. I know I am a good person & I am no ordinary typical woman which makes it hard for people to accept most times.

But I am me & I'm not sorry for who I am. My parents brought me up very well. I lived in a luxurious environment but I was never spoilt. Many cringe listening to how much I have to "work to earn" my own bicycle when I was 5. And yet, they must have taught me well enough because on the way to the bicycle shop, we came across a homeless woman & I gave up my savings (meant to buy the bicycle) to that woman. Nobody pressured me to that & yet at 5, I was thinking for others.

As I grow up, what I was taught never left me. I am still doing a lot of charity work & volunteering whenever I have the chance.

Because I grew up without parents from the age of 9, (Read "One bright light") it makes me a stronger person & more straight forward. I have little time to go around the bush.

Sometimes in life you can't help but wonder how people really think.

One good example was 5 years ago, before the kids, the wedding & after our engagement party.

I was thrilled that my husband's brother was coming over for our engagement party. I wanted to get to know him better. He's my husband baby brother & I wanted those intimate times of sitting down in front of the fire (not when I'm in Singapore of course), and laugh about all the silly stories they had while growing up. See... that was the plan.

Somehow or rather, my appreciation for  family was too naive. Maybe because I didn't grow up having any.

Anyway, my bro-in-law came & we had the party and although I wasn't too impressed by what was going on here, I gave him the benefit of the doubt & learned to like him.

Fast forward 2 weeks & he was back home. Everything was fine. Silly me ... I decided to write an email to my bro-in-law & his wife thanking him for his attendance at our engagement party & thanking both for the gift they got us - which I really like.

I wrote the email to him & CC to his wife. A week later I heard from my mother in law that his wife was bitching about how I only thank my bro-in-law & that it was unacceptable since she was the one who went shopping for the engagement gift.

Naturally I was shocked! I didn't know writing a thank you email would get me into this trouble. Maybe that's why my husband didn't bother to write one in the first place.

My good intentions was misconstrued out of proportion so much so that I was appalled that it could even be a problem!!!

Hang on, she was in the CC. What did I do wrong? When you write a CC, it basically means it's for both parties. Oh no,no,no ...  it's still not acceptable since I didn't CLEARLY say thank you only to her.

Whoa!!! Ok.... that's new. I know then that there is an issue here. And it's probably not me. Maybe she's getting nervous about another daughter in law coming into the picture. Maybe she's threatened that her warm & too comfortable spot with my mother in law would be replaced. Whatever it was, I didn't like to deal with other people's insecurities.

My solution is simple. If a thank you email can get me into this mess, then expect no email or news from me. Reason - if trying to build a bridge & it ended up with the bridge being burned down even before the construction is finished at the other end, then maybe to keep peace, it's best not to build a bridge in the first place.

So 5 years and 2 kids later, I still didn't try. My mother in law knows that probably damage is done. Maybe it's too late. The thing is I have been misunderstood & yet I didn't dwell about it or try to rectify the situation since I don't see it's worth the effort.

Eventually, it's my martyrdom apparently. Somehow they built a perception about me & stuck to it. And yes, I couldn't be bothered to waste my time on it to explain my innocence

Not the first time I have been misunderstood ....

Miss Kim Kardashian

As much as you love to hate her, (I know I'm going to be on your hate list) -  I do like her.  I don't know her in person. But I get her drift.

I mean what are the chances? She has two famous dads, crazy sisters who are just funny to watch (makes you go 'oh no they didnt!!'), mogul of a mom, beautiful half sisters ... ok, I can't say much of Rob but the rest, yes ... they are a great bunch.

Kris Jenner, somehow saw a vision - she saw her brood & in her brain she went ka-ching, ka-ching!! I mean if it makes their life better, why are we judging her as a mom , making her children & herself famous. She can think of a simplest issue in their life, turn it around and make it profitable. She does get carried away about the green notes but still, she is doing very well and doing too well for her kids.

Kim Kardashian, the queen of the empire has her ups and downs. At the end of the day, you see a sweet girl who just want to be loved.

She started young, wanting to be married & be domestic. She feels somehow giving herself to her man is just pure love. Nothing wrong with that - if you give that to the right man, that is.

I read about her first stunt marriage. Was just a silly young girl who wanted to belong to someone. Yes she was young. Possibly 19? I can't remember.

Then the sex tape scandal. All in a magical dream of pleasing her man. As you watch her reality show KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS, yes she has her angry moments, but when you really watch her, she is this sensitive, sweet girl who just want to find true love.

She's gorgeous, successful & you would think she can get any men she wants. She probably can but she is also shy & careful of being hurt. You see her through her marriage with Kris Humpries.

Love is blind. As a third party, watching their show, I learned about Miss Kim Kardashian. And through watching them too, I learned about Kris Humpries. Somehow or rather, I didn't like him from the begining. Sorry Kim.

I feel like he is too child like and too much of a joke to be with someone so sophisticated and so beautiful. And it seems so weird that through it all, while our brows frowned upon the things that came out of his mouth, Kim laughed & thought it was funny. One case of point of girl being so in love.

When they got married,  you have betting tables opening on the days they would stay married. How sad is that really?

Instead of hoping for the best and hope they'll grow old together, people were specualting when Kim is going to cut loose.

I am a nobody in Kim's eyes but somehow, I didn't feel Kris was right for her. She deserves better. And when she filed for a divorce, she pleaded for everyone to just understand the situation & respect her privacy.

It was hard for this girl. Everything she does is being scrutinised. Yet, she is still standing up there. Well done, Kim!

Well, as much as everyone makes fun of me for watching her & for thinking, there's nothing wrong with her (she's just being human), I hope from the bottom of my heart that one day Kim will find someone who truly deserves her wonderful self.

We saw Khloe became happy, we saw Kourney's bundle of joy (and soon to be another bundle), let's pray & hope that Kim's happiness is just around the corner.

Best of luck, Kim. Really want you to be truly happy. Hopefully sooner than later.

Chuck Under The Stereotype Roof

People have a definite perception of me when they see me or when they see me with my husband.

They see just me  - Ahhh, she's very different. She looks local but she has an accent. What is she?

They see me with my children - Ahh, she's a stay home mommy, taking care of her children & life revolves around her children (NOT!)

They see me with my husband - Ahhh, she got lucky & caught a big fish. Typical asian marrying a white guy so now her life is better. Bet she even prefers to live in her husband's country of origin.

Oh yes! I get that a lot. It's very difficult for most people to comprehend that I have been living a posh life even before my husband was in the picture. It's hard for them to believe that I have a successful career, been living in more than 10 countries & have travelled almost everywhere BEFORE I EVEN KNOW THE SHADOW OF MY HUSBAND!

Somehow, that doesn't gel with the fact that I'm asian. They also expect me to be subservient. NOT!

I remembered, when I got married, some of my husband's relatives came to me & said "You must be happy to be able to live in Australia now" or "Are you going to move to Australia?"

And my answer almost immediately - "DEFINITELY NOT!"

I'm sorry for being too much of a city girl. I'm sorry to need to live in a place where things are happening all the time. Oh wait, should I be sorry?

I do not hate Australia. Like everyone else, they all have their prefered place to live. I just prefer to be in a big city. So no, I'm not moving to Australia.

My husband's dad was a little skeptical once when I said I was going to buy a house in Australia. He said "Yes, it'll come out from my son's bank account afterall."

That hurts. It still does. They realised very quickly that I paid for everything. MYSELF!

So yes, while I live a life being misunderstood as the under dog, I try not to let that bother me. But schade ... that's life.

You don't have to spend half your life explaining to people who don't know better that there's life out there which is so colourful that many do not fall under the typical stereotype.

In most cases, those who classify u into a stereotype roof are usually not very adventurous (intelligent)  in life themselves. 

I always find it very interesting whenever I am in Australia & I went to a party or a gathering, ome of them would go " You are not what we expected.'

Trust me, I had to bit my lips all the time. No, I am nothing what anyone expected. Unless you know me, you will not really understand why everything about me doesn't gel.

What can I say? Everyone need to start realising that the stereotype roof is collapsing soon. :)

Wake up people. Let reality show you how colourful a human being can be. Especially me.

(Exaggeration in progress... ) ;)

Tagging Tuna :)

Why some employers go everywhere with their maid?

Why not? The luxurious life in Singapore. :)

This morning, I was helping my friend with her RSVP card for her wedding. One of the card said that the guest would come with her whole family AND HER MAID.

Just like any stressed out bride-to-be, she started ranting for a bit. "Why on earth are they taking their maids with them??? I sometimes wonder??!! It's my wedding!!! Food is served! And you basically sit down and eat! Do you need to be fed by the maid??? Or why is there the need for the maid to be there! It's $100 worth of food here!!! "

A little lost, I extended my arm & handed over my Royce chocolate in the hope to calm her down. "I'M ON DIET!!!!"

Ok ... that didn't work.

Why wouldn't she be? Her wedding is coming, she's nervous, she's probably not even sure about this whole marriage thing, her low sugar level is driving her nuts - typical isn't it?

Mandy, probably the most calm among us all, said that it seems to be a norm here in Singapore. So, the debate started.

Which the bride seemed more willing to indulge than to really stress about her RSVP cards.

"I know too many people who goes everywhere with their maids. On one hand I can understand where they are coming from. Especially if there have kids, young babies or senior citizen. You kindda understand that they need help when they are out. Imagine dealing with children running off while you are trying to assemble the pram. You need more than 2 hands!"

"But my wedding!!!! Honestly??!! Do they go everywhere with their maid? Like a dolphin with a tagging tuna!" Sara, the bride squelled.

Notice that I kept my mouth shut here? ;) Never get into water which is already boiling - you will be burnt! I did, however take a mental note of the "tagging tuna" term she just used.

I understand her predicament. Taking maids to wedding is still rare here. You still see people taking maids to birthday parties though. I have seen too many parties where among the guests, you see the maids chasing after the kids.

Maybe Mandy is right. Mandy thinks that the parents have been working all week. And when they go to parties, they do not feel like dealing with petty things that their children may create. They may not even want to deal with any tantrums at all. They just get the maid to deal with them.

It is quite understandable when there are some actvities involved. Like when there is swimming involved. You may need an extra hand to take one child out of the pool etc. Or when you go to a friend's for dinner & she doesn't have a live in maid - bringing yours and having her help out with the dishes would help your friend out a bit. That makes a bit more sense.

But to a wedding or to a kid's birthday party where all you actually do is just eat & socialise, do you really need a maid to be around for that?

Mandy claimed that usually both parents work during the week. Therefore the maid spends more time with the children & therefore knows how to deal with them more than the parents. Hmmm, it's hard to really imagine that but I have to agree that I do have parents going to kids party & actually have little contact with the kids.

I do take my maid to my friend's place whereby they do not have a live in maid. But it's not too much on the kids but more on helping out with the dishes, making their lives easier so they could actually sit down & sit with us while the maid help clean up the mess.

I have two tiny kids which do make them sigh in relief to have their place all clean when we leave their premises.

Having said that, I do everything else without a maid. If my husband is around (and therefore already extra hand to help), I do not take my maid with me. Maybe it's just me but I felt like it may put the host in an awkward position. Plus it's nice to have family time with just us four.

While I'm not against people who does, it did create a good debate which calm our little miss princess.

The discussion saved the day :)