Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Mommy's Curse!

The children could be a handful. They are the best thing in life but they do have personalities now which means it can get difficult. I'm THAT sensitive now during one tantrum session, my daughter screamed "I don't like u!"

I felt it sharp & curt - like a stab in my heart. I know she doesn't know better - she was just saying that to tell me that she was upset but it came out that blunt. But it got me thinking -  she's only 2, imagine her words when she's 16. Can I take it then?

When I know she understands her  words quite well- what excuse am I gonna feed my heart? Of course, that is if she turns out that horrific. If not, I'll have a better heart to spare. Woes of a mommy.

I know the peak is yet to come, she'll one day come to me & tell me "Mommy, I'm gonna do sky diving! Or bungee jumping!"

So far we are adopting the story that I never did all those because I don't know how to explain to her why she shouldn't do it while I did those stuff when I was 18. (Which happened to be not too long ago ;))

I mean she should go for it ..really. But this annoying maternal gut thing which screams "She might get hurt!! You have to protect her!" Yet how do you even try to make her understand that - that I was just worried about her. Even I didn't understand that kind of invisible bond before I became a mom myself. So why would she.

One thing I resent this title of being a mommy is the worrywart badge that comes with it. You WORRY about your children ALL THE TIME. I don't enjoy that & I hate the fact that I'm going through that now. I'm struggling to keep the balance.

I'm pushing my kids to do what they can while holding them back when I sense danger. That's maternal stuff because I realized even daddies do not understand that.

Daddies in general are more relaxed about children upbringing. It could be because they know that the children are in good hands & therefore they don't need to work that hard since they know the worrisome mommies would go their extra mile to make sure that everything is more than ok anyway.

Sometimes the more relaxed attitude bothers me but more because I resent the fact that they are able to be relax and I can't. I'm not saying I'm one of those obnoxious mothers who are smoldering their kids big time.

In general I want my kids to explore the world & get down & dirty,exploring all possibilities. I've seen parents who buy knee socks so their children do not get sore knees when they are crawling. I want my kids to rough it out & if it means they will have sore knees, that's part of growing up. I survived it. I'm sure they will too.

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