Monday, April 30, 2012

Brain Of A Blowfish!!

If you have read my blog earlier (Miss Understood), then this is the continuation ... ;)

Recently, my husband decided to go on a fishing trip. I told him that maybe we should his mom with us. Yeah, she's not necessarily useful with the kids. In fact, I do feel like I have 3 kids instead of 2 when she is around but hey, she's 67 & she is slowing down.

My mother in law in general is a sweet person who sees the good in person. She could be dining at a restaurant & the waitress have a little conversation with her about the flies & she would come back telling me that the waitress was ..."Ever so lovely.." Yes, her favourite sentence. Yup, she was English. She came to Australia when she was 18. And has been living there & contributed to the economy so much (especially while bringing up the kids) that now she has Australian citizenship.

Anyway, in general, my mother in law (MIL in abbreviation from now on) is a lovely person. She loves my kids but she is also not young anymore & doesn't have the energy to go running after my 2 year old & my hyper one year old. As much as she is not much help, I always suggest having her around, more so that the kids get to have her around & get to know her more.

However, whenever my MIL gets me alone (when my husband is not around), she likes to have deep conversation. I usually wait till the kids are asleep for me to sit down in front of her before she huffs and puffs and waited for me to ask what's wrong. She is so predictable! Haha

Anyway, here's the gist of our conversation so you get where I'm heading...

MIL :  Don't you want us to come to your place for Xmas?

"Us" here refers to herself, her second son, his wife & their two children.

Me:  You are coming to our place this Xmas? Oh?

MIL : Mark (Yes, that's my brother in law) said he read your post on facebook something about you saying you are thinking of going to Vanuatu for Xmas. He said why would you plan to go somewhere else when u know we are thinking of coming.

Me: I know?? I know that you guys are THINKING of coming?? Am i telepathic or I could read minds.... which one of you have come forward to tell me you guys are coming?

MIL was quiet for a while. She gave me a shrug and said : I thought i mentioned it to u.

ME: No u didn't. Neither did anyone else. You said you won't be in home for Xmas. You didn't say where you were gonna be & I usually do not ask until you are definite about your plans.

MIL : Oh

Me : Yes. Oh. How would I know if no one says anything? And how can anyone make plans to go to someone's place for XMAS!! Without even discussing with the host if it's ok??! Just because they are family doesn't mean they do not need to ask. And I'm sorry but my life doesn't revolves around facebook. If I write anything at all, it's nothing intimate or private it's just thinking aloud.And for goodness sake!!if someone THOUGHT of coming to MY place, dont u think SOMEONE should inform me???!?!!

MIL: Hmm, sorry i thought i did.

ME: Why is it your job to tell me anyway??? They cant tell me?

MIL: I thought he would. I could be wrong. I could already feel the tension while he was here.

She was referring to the 3 days we were at her place before we flew to Exmouth. Mark heard that we would be there & decided to hang around. Which is not a problem for us.  Here's the thing:  I made an effort because I love my husband so much. Wherever Mark went, I followed like a dog, to have a proper conversation. But he chose to ignore me like I'm a STRAY dog!

My husband thought I was exaggerating so to prove a point I sat net to my husband when he was sitting there talking to Mark. I asked how the kids were & Mark completely ignored me, as if I wasn't even there. My husband noticed this and decided to ask the same question & Mark answered immediately.

That was when my husband realised that this is getting too child's play. But he didn't say anything to Mark at that point of time because we brought some guests with us to Australia & family intervention shouldn't be done in front of others.

Me: Really? What is your poor little son upset about now?

MIL : He is upset that that was the first time he met your son  & you didn't properly introduce your son to his uncle!

ME: What was I supposed to do, have a red carpet and have someone kind of ritual to officially introduce them? Goodness he doesn't even wish my son on his first birthday or send gifts when I send their kids without fail.... and I'm the bad one?? I even walked up to him with my son in my hand saying 'Say hi to your Uncle'... Come on now.... you as a mother, pls tell me if this act is logical at all? Doesn't it look very much like he is finding reasons to hate me more.

Honestly, that excuse was really lame. I made an effort to ask my son to say hi. My husband didn't even try & how come he wasn't in trouble? What in the world were they thinking? Did they think I somehow need to suck up to them?? !  I don't do suck up & never will. They need to get used to it & move on

MIL: Maybe its motivated by his wife? I dunno.

She muttered quietly almost like she didn't really want me to hear it. I sighed heavily. Completely exhausted by this family drama.

ME:  Tell them that I have 2 million REAL issues in my life that needs more attention. I don't have time to deal with petty little hearts. It's not my issue if they don't understand me. Honestly, I've tried & tried...out of love for your son. But this is enough.

What were they thinking? That they could walk into my home without any notice or planning? That my home is open house to them anytime? And even so, don't they think that to stay under my roof, they probably need to stop pissing me off?? I mean how awkward is that? To have them at my home when they hate my guts? Honestly! Why even bother?

Sometimes .... people just have a brain of a blowfish!