Do I want a 3rd one? Hmmmm ...

So my kids are not babies anymore. They are more fun to be with and they are wonderful to travel with. Traveling became a breeze. Well, compared to how it was before.

While waiting for our flight to France, in London, I was recalling the many gushes and gasped we got from my husband's side of the family.

Our kids are mixed. And therefore they look "different".

That was the first time my husband's family saw the kids and they were completely smitten by both of them. They even took time off to spend their time with the kids.

As we travelled together through England, I saw them proudly held my kids' hands and was enjoying the admiration and the stares we got from everyone else.

My son is a charmer. He would wave and blow kisses at anyone who walks pass him which made him so irressitable! He has dimples on both cheeks and he smiles and chuckles making everyone else feels like they are so funny or entertaining.

My daughter takes a while to warm up usually but when she does, her giggles and her laughter attracts a lot of admiration too. She has a beautiful smile. And too often, people stopped us to tell us how beautiful they are.

I really didn't think much about it until my hubby's uncle leaned on me and said "You two produced such beautiful babies. You sure you want to stop at 2?"

Good question. For the longest time, we never thought about having more. I don't even know if I can but I didn't consider having more after the birth of my son.

My experience  in delivering my daughter (In Singapore) was so beautiful and effortless that I remembered telling my husband that we can have 7 if he wants to. Yup, it was that breezy for me (with the help of epidural of course).

The experience wasn't quite the same for my son. We gave birth to him in Australia and the experience was so traumatising that I said I will never ever have another baby!

So that was that. I always said now that we have a boy and a girl,the factory is closed. We said it too many times that we somehow both were convinced that that was what we want.

When my hubby's uncle asked me about it, I just smiled. I didn't even think it through. My husband was also talking about plans for our holidays next year which of course will not have any room for an infant! So we really didn't take it seriously.

Until I was sitting there in the lounge, waiting for the next flight and staring at my kids playing and giggling.... such beautiful creatures. Annoying at times but they are mostly good kids. I enjoyed the time I had so far, watching them grow... I know I'm reminiscing as if they are all grown up and walking down the aisle....we are talking about a short time here. One is 3 and one is almost 2. Haha

Still, I watched them from an infant to being able to tell me to drive carefully. :) I love them so much and hearing so many people, including my mother in law, saying that she regretted stopping at 2, it made me contemplate the situation.

Am I getting clucky? Not really? I have things planned out for me for the next 2 years which wouldn't allow me to have any babies these 2 years. We have holidays planned as well. Everything we do or planned do not include a 3rd one.

I briefly mentioned it to my husband, one drunk night and he asked if I was ready to go through everything again. It wasn't quite clear if he wants it or not but I quickly dropped the subject somehow.

When we returned back home from our holiday, we had a little gathering to catch up with family after 3 weeks of being away. It was on this day that my brother announced that his wife is 7 weeks pregnant! Their second pregnancy is conceived when their 1st was 6 months old. Exactly the age when my daughter was when I conceived my son. We congratulated them & we celebrated the joyous news.

On the drive back, I brought up that it was strange that this news came a day after we were talking about it!! And yet it is not us, it's my brother's family. :)

Then I missed my period. It was supposed to come on the 20th and ya big deal, I'm just 4 days late!! Yet, it's been playing in my head .. what if??!!! I mentally tried to find ways to actually change the plans to make it possible to have an infant - nope, haven't found anything yet but my brain was constantly trying ... I looked through the internet and see when should I check with a pregnancy kit. It says 6-12 after conception. When is conception? Yup, I got busy checking all these and used up a full day!

I know I am not ready mentally and maybe it will be too wishful to think it'll happen again (since doctors are still wondering how I conceinved my 2 kids when I have been diagnosed as not being able to conceive any1) but I found a little bit of happiness, (just a little bit - obviously I forgot the pain of the 1st year) sitting in my heart wanting it to be true.

So this morning, I bought a pregnancy kit. I didn't discuss with anyone. Not even with my husband. I've missed my period and after spending a whole afternoon reminding myself all  info that I already knew from the past kids, I've decided to take a pregnancy kit.

I was quietly playing in my head of ways to tell my husband that I'm pregnant. I replayed it again and again and again ... so In a way, I think I must want it somehow.

I did the test when the kids were taking a nap. And it came out ........ NEGATIVE.

I sat there, feeling a little sad. Weird isn't it? I'm not even supposed to have this baby?? Then I started telling myself that maybe I didn't wait long enough or maybe I did it wrong and that's why it's negative.

I saw myself talking myself into it as if all I wanted to see was it's POSITIVE! That scares me a little.What's going on?

I don't know really .... Realistically, the period is possibly delayed due to the hectic traveling and the aftermath of catching up on piles of work after a holiday. But this stubborn brain just wouldn't wanna believe it....

So PERIOD, please stop playing games with my head. You either come soon and put this questions to rest or make it positive! Either way, I'll be happy I guess. :)

Love,

Me

Strange Pleasant Encounter

I've never been keen on Mondays. The term ‘Monday Blues’ must be created for a reason. If there is any day I choose to take time off work,  I would take Mondays.

Which I did yesterday. My best friend suggested going to IKEA because she needed some napkins from there. I thought 'Alright...since I have nothing planned. I'll come with you & we'll fetch my daughter at noon when her playgroup ends & take the kids to the indoor playground in Changi"

So after dropping off my daughter & my husband, my son, who is always in his best mood whenever I decided to take time off (thank god!), I went straight to IKEA. Gosh! The car park was almost full & it was just 10 am.

So we went in there & for some weird reason, I ended up with a trolley of things ... And I thought I was just there to accompany my friend

Anyway, I managed to somehow buy a mattress for my son & decided when I collected it at the customer service that it may be the wrong size after all. It was too late to do any exchange anyway. I was supposed to pick my daughter up!

So we went to pick my daughter up & straight to Changi. The "pleasure" of having three little kids with us, we literally went to baby care room 3 times because they needed changing. By the time we were ready to go to the indoor playground, my best friend got a call from her fellow Turkish friends & said she needed to leave soon.

So instead of going to the indoor playground, we just took the kids to the main playground which was free for everyone to play.

We probably spent like 30 min running around the kids and making sure they were alright. (Since there were big kids too)

Anyway, finally it was time to go. The children were tired and cranky by then. We managed to make our way to reach the lift. And a group of ladies held the door for us. We thanked them politely.

Then suddenly, the lady on my left said "You are very beautiful."

A little confused and somehow didn't believe anyone could be very upfront, I answered (stupid , I know) "You mean my children?"

The reason being my children have always been attracting people's attention. No one ever said anything about me. So that came as a big surprise for me.

This lady (probably in her late 40s or early 50s) was with her aunt (an even older lady) and her two daughters who are in their early twenties.

If it was a guy saying that to me, I would probably think he is a freak. But these ladies were decent looking, looks like they come from a proper-simply-polite family...you know like those nice people from the church who annoyingly have everything nice to say about the world.

Well, she said she had been watching us playing with our kids at the playground. I didn't think at that time but now that I was thinking about it I was wondering wow..... how amazing is it that you can be watched without even realising it the slightest bit!

For that split second I was hoping that maybe there was a cute hunk who had also spent time checking me out! Haha

She said she kept saying to her aunt that she wanted to speak to me but didn't ….  since I looked like I had my hands full with my two kids who seemed to enjoy running the opposite direction. :)

"I've been watching the way you handled the kids and the two of you (referring to my best friend) running around with the kids. I figured we would be a nuisance if we come and try to talk to you at that time. But now that I'm even closer, my gosh, you are beautiful. Where are you from? You must be mixed!"

She also said that she loves my best friend accent. She later said that the sight of both of us, 2 young looking mothers, beautiful & polite to other people was just refreshing.

"Most beautiful people are a snob" She added.

We talked a little bit and coincidently we were parking near to each other. These ladies helped us out with our kids and our stuff. It was a little overwhelming but maybe because it is not very usual that someone stumbled into your path and can be SO NICE! Rare , I have to say.

We exchanged numbers and she said again that fate has a way of putting us together. She is very keen to get to know us.

I told my husband about it. And he seemed very suspicious. He was like "You gave your number just like that? "

"She seems nice and she was with her aunt and two daughters"

"How would you know if they are even her aunt or daughters? She's probably a lesbian and can see the beauty that I see or they are a cult and they need a pretty head on their shrine. So be careful! Meet only in public places"

Sheeesh..... talking about being super paranoid! :) My best friend  and I talked about it very briefly. I said my husband was a little suspicious about her intentions.

And she said, " During the whole process, we didn't even realise it but it was flowing very smoothly and they were being nice.... it could be anything but honestly, she was there with her kids and aunt.... maybe it is JUST her being herself. NICE."

So it's still a mystery. We have no idea. She has my number and she will probably be in contact with me very soon. She seems sincere. I'll update you about it.

Meanwhile, let me gloat on the fact that she actually thought that I am VERY beautiful! ;) Oh come on! Just let me be! :)