My Drunk Bestfriend

You would have thought that at some point of time, during your life, you would learn your mistakes and not to repeat it again. Mine has always been ME! MYSELF and I? I’ve always been a gregarious person. I am friendly to everyone – even the cleaners on the road!

I have no problem socialising with anyone and my husband said that most times it is quite difficult to not like me, unless of course it’s another woman with similar characteristics and therefore feeling threatened.

Here’s my issue many many times ago – My best friends are usually men. And they somehow always ended up falling in love with me. Wait… before you judge me, I have not done it intentionally. Neither am I so full of myself. I think I’m ordinary in terms of looks but I think it’s the way I talk that wins it all. At least that’s what I was told.

Everything I did or wrote (sms, whatsapp, email,etc) is known to my husband and if it was inappropriate, my husband would have told me. Time & again I would ask my husband where I’ve gone wrong. Time and again my husband just sigh and said “It’s just you. Don’t worry about it”

I am worried. I’ve always grown up among many boys. Thus the reason I’m more comfortable with boys than girls. As expected I do not have the traits of a typical lady. I hate shopping, I don’t like to go for manicure, pedicure…I would be bored sitting there if I have to wait for my hair to get done. While it didn’t influence my sexual orientation (I still like men!) I am somehow described as men’s best friend  (No, I’m not a bitch) coz I sort of think like them too.

When I was 18, my childhood friend one day told me that he was interested to be more than just best friends. I have no idea about love since I never allowed that to happen. He said it would be fun since we already know each other inside out.

And so we tried. It failed dramatically. And he never want to hear from me ever again. Honestly, it was because I couldn’t stop seeing him as a best friend and giggled when we try to be intimate. He would be the one person who up till today , I know would “die for me”. He loved me with all his heart and expected the same. I couldn’t give him that and had I known how painful it was for him, I would have done things differently. I would say no to his idea of trying to be more than best friends. Coz I know he loved me with all his heart and he doesn’t deserve not to be loved back. He deserves more. As a result, I lost my best friend. I still wish I have him in my life today.

When I was 21, after moving into career life, again I had a best friend who didn’t tell me for 2 years that he was in love with me. Those 2 years I was attached & I confided in him whenever I had an argument with my boyfriend at that time. He was sweet. He was nice. He was also attached. So I didn’t think very much of it. One day, I was going to be posted in another country and he drove all the way from the chalet he was at (With his girlfriend in the car who obviously had no idea why he drove to my place), just to tell me that he had feelings for me & that I shouldn’t go.

That was awkward. His girlfriend was in the car and my boyfriend was in the house!!! I said we should talk about that tomorrow. He came at 8 pm the next day and he said let’s take the boat & talk. So we did. While it was just the two of us (which now when I really think about it was a stupid idea!!) He talked about his feelings and what he envisioned his life to be. With me in it! He also tried to kiss me. I said I was still attached and I was already going through a situation whereby I had to decide with my boyfriend at that time what to do with regards to the distance we would have…. And now come another problem. I said no to him. And the ride back to shore seemed the longest. He cried and every time I tried to hold him and calm him down as a best friend that we were, he tried to kiss me. He took it differently. In the end I had to resort to sitting the opposite end of the boat which he resented saying I made him feel like a complete disease. What other choice do I have??? I didn’t want to complicate the situation. He dropped me off that night, kissed my cheeks & said goodbye. I never heard from him again. I left the country without saying goodbye to him. He changed his number, he changed his job, and I asked his mom about him (his mom loves me too & still in touch with me up till today) he told his mom that I should not hurt him more. That cut me deep. How the hell did this happen?? “It’s just you.”

Today I have 2 kids, he has one kid, we are both married and yet whenever he knows I was in that country and would visit his mom, he would cancel his trip so he doesn’t need to see me. His mom asked me “Do you think he Is still in love with u?” I don’t know. But he has a wife now. Why is he still scared of seeing me?  He must hate me so much now.

When I was 27, similar thing happened again. I befriended a friend and soon we hang out and have pizzas together and watch movies together with our friends too. We have never had any dates. Except for occasional breakfast he dropped at my office, then he would stay for 15 min and we talked a bit before he ran off to his office. Our conversation was straightforward and there wasn’t a chance that people would think we were together.

On Valentine’s Day he asked if I had a date and I said no. He said he doesn’t either. He said we both need to eat dinner, should we go grab something? I said why not?? I wasn’t even dressed up because he said “grab something!” but he was….so I was like “whoaah,that’s very classic. Are u trying to woo me or something?!” I laughed. And he replied “why not?” I jumped into the car and continued talking stupidly like he was my brother. He listened very carefully each time but that night  he looked at me adoringly.. he had his sly smile.

At the dinner table, he asked if we should try. And me being me, I blurted out saying he was more like a brother for me! And I laughed. How insensitive was I??? Damn bitch! He didn’t finish his food …while I did. What? It was good food and I was really hungry!

We had a little walk home. He said I’ve hurt him really deep. I said if not hurting him means accepting the proposal to be his girl, that wouldn’t be fair for me. I never did think of him romantically and it’s hard to just switch on that mode. I told him that I do not want more since that would mean we might not work and we would lose each other as best friends. He said I’ve already lost him. He walked me home and he avoided me since then. I lost yet another good person in my life.

So what happened? According to my husband, “It’s just you”.

3 years ago, I met this friend of mine. He was attached to one of my friend. It was a big roller coaster between the two of them and eventually my friend decided to end the relationship. X had no one to turn to so my husband became his confidante. They talked a lot and he was always at our place. I’m very blunt with him and he saw how I am with my husband and my kids and he saw my two pregnancies and how I didn’t change a bit. Even when I was huge at 9  months I was still joking around and happy. At some point, my husband wasn’t available. So I became his confidante. By then he has met someone and this relationship was crazier than the last! His lady was very jealous and he wasn’t able to take it. Too many times he came running to our place and seek refuge because once she was even being violent at him.

I’m older now, so I’m calmer and I thought I wouldn’t be attracting too much trouble either. X & me became best friends and my hubby even told me that if at some point if he wasn’t around , we can count on X to be there for me. No problem at all. He’s always over at our place for dinner and is always playing with our kids. He’s almost part of the family. We always tell everyone we are siblings from a different mother! ;)

A month ago, he got really drunk. From what I gathered, he had another huge fight with his girlfriend and he was wondering if I would come over because he needed me then. My husband had a day trip & was expected to arrive home at 1am so I said no. I’ve never been to his place ever – more because of the jealous lion! So why would I go now? I said I want to wait for my husband.

Then he started ranting about being there for him.

X:            I am really happy we are friends

Me:         You should be happy and honoured because I choose my friends carefully

X:            You are a bit too attractive & sexy but what about  you being my sister?

Me:          I’ll always be your sister

X:            Hmm…naaaw. Too sexy to be my sister. Well, you will never really be my 
               sister. I will always see the woman in you.

Me:          Only when you are drunk!

X:            Possibly so. Anyhow, I think you & I should try to stick together. Whatever it is.
               You are crazy but you are a good person. With a big heart. Maybe I’m crazy as
               well. I love your craziness. I love you!

              (Pause for  min)

Me:         Have u passed out yet?

X:           No. Still here…. (Pause) Just stay with me.

Me:         Hmm, it’s confirmed you are very drunk

X:            Yes! But I still mean every word….. Hey nothing should change between the
              two of us. Promise?

Me:         Ok. I’ll be the friend that you need.

X:           I’m serious. I meant everything.

Me:         I know you do

X:            Kind of strange, isn’t it?

Me:         That you are telling me all these only when you are drunk? Many people do silly
               things when they are drunk. Don’t worry

X:            No! Really! You are very special to me. And you are even very special to my
               mom. I don’t feel that I am any special to you like that. It doesn’t matter.

               (Silence for another 2 min)

Me:          Still there?

X:            You were there so many times and I thank you for that! I just wish one day I
               could make it up to you

Me:        Just continue to be my bestfriend. That’s enough for me. And keep my secrets
              to  death. And do not fall in love with me.

X:           Too late already! But I’ve accepted the fact that I have no chance. Everything I
              just said I am happy to share with Julia. If she doesn’t understand, I don’t care.

Me:         Please don’t say that. I don’t want to lose you as my bestfriend. We had a good
              run! Stay that way.

X:           Nobody knows the future. It’s not relevant now. I just want to tell you that I’ll  
              always be there for you. We need more time together.. People already know 
              we are close but nobody understands. Maybe even I don’t. And I told you things
              I   before promised I would never tell anybody? Why? I trust you like hell! Why 
              do I do that?? I don’t know. I just feel it. Who are you? Where do u come from?
              I have no answer.

Me:        I’m still your bestfriend.

X:          Just in case I haven’t said enough, I will always be there for you. You can rely on
              me. No matter what. I am not sure why I say that but I feel that.

              (Silence … gulping)

              Can we be more than just friends?

Me:        Yes you are my bestfriend instead of being just friends

X:           I’m so unsure. You are so nice to everybody. You are always out there helping
              everyone. I don’t know whether I’m any special but you need to know that you
              are special to me. I mean it. You were there in so many difficult situations. I 
              appreciate so much. You are very special and even Julia knows that. Probably 
              the reason she hates u. It’s not even your fault. I’m sorry.

It went on and on. Eventually I told him to go to sleep as I knew he was pretty drunk. I thought after that, that it was a great idea not to be there at that time.

Anyway, the next day, he said asked if I was ok. I said yes. Nothing changes at my end. He said he meant what he said and I said ok. And we moved on talking as per normal. A day after that, probably realisation caught up with him and probably he felt slightly embarrassed? I don’t know.

He started to write lesser and lesser. That same week, I went thru  a lot. The house hunting, this and that. And he wasn’t responding much so I didn’t tell him that I needed to talk to someone. 2 weeks after that he asked if I was ok. I said no and I snapped and said that “How would u know? U didn’t even bother to ask??”

That was when he told me that he was going thru hell. Apparently his girlfriend went wild and literally attacked him many times. Again I got concerned. He said he is fine. He seems to be different. He doesn’t want me too involved anymore. So I backed off.

Our friendship has gone a little cold. We used to be inseparable but these days, he said he needs to protect himself first. I don’t know what that means? From his girlfriend? From me? I let it be…..

I do love him.... but not like that. I love him like a brother. :(

The Newtown Shooting of Sandy Hook Elementary School

My heart goes out to all the parents of the children in Sandy Hook Elementary School.

For those who suffered loses from this tragedy, I know nothing can replace the joy and love which has been taken away from you prematurely.

I can’t even imagine seeing my kids get hurt when falling off the chair. Yet alone, having anymore pain than that.

Since I became a mother, I empathised mothers who go through tragedies and my heart somehow bleeds for them too. I can’t really explain it.

I am in Singapore and the tragedy is in U.S & yet I felt like I wish I could do more to help those parents who lost their child. There is nothing which will make them feel better -  ever. Their lives have been altere - FOREVER ....  But I just want to help in any way I can.

Meanwhile, let’s not forget about those parents who brought home their frightened children who had been forced to go through such horrifying ordeal. This is not fair at any level! Now how many more young kids have to die before they f**king do something about the guns?!

Pardon my language but while America hailed the need for guns to protect themselves, it has been creating more tragedies in the last few years. I don't see any other people in developed countries need guns to protect themselves!!!

The theory is as such, if you have guns available to you to protect yourselves, there are bound to be someone out there who are sick in the head who might abuse this privilege.

However if you do not make it available to ANYONE, nobody can get hurt – at least not through another shooting. Mass killing has been on the rise that many fears that a “copycat” murder may be in plan already.

As we speak, we have kids or adults creating twitter account or blog pages hailing how great the killings are!!! That is just too sick to even be imagined.

A teacher’s son killed his mother on the face, left home(apparently geared with heavy arms) went to the school she taught, went to her class and started a shooting spree ON CHILDREN!!! This could be America’s worst mass school shooting!!

It’s 15^th December today. Only 10 days short of Christmas. I could imagine their parents have already anticipated their Xmas gifts under the Xmas tree and told them (probably everyday) that they have to wait till Xmas before they could open their gifts. Like any parents would.These kids probably were in their best behaviour because they wanted Santa to come with their choice of toys! And probably Santa DID put the toys they wanted. All these….. still waiting under that tree…. And on Xmas day, it’ll hit these parents really hard when there are unopened boxes under that tree…. The same boxes which the kids have been shaking and trying to guess the last 2 weeks! My heart bleeds for them ....

It tears my heart to even imagine half the devastation these parents are going through. This certainly do not need to happen again. If some precautions are done.

In this scenario, the shooter apparently has Asperger. While we all know that usually someone who has Asperger can react irrationally, it wouldn’t have been this grief if he didn’t have the option to use a gun.

Guns are used in every action packed movies and shows that signify power and skills. Just imagine Bruce Willis, Mel Gibson, Angelina Jolie, Collin Farrell -who wouldn’t wanna be seen to have such skills like James Bond does.

Among 98 percent of viewers of these movies understand that this is fiction. And that this should not happen in real life. However, having said that, there are 2 percent to would go home, imagining the glory of his death if his name comes out on the paper because he killed people.

OR this 2 percent might think that that would be a way to solve problems. Just kill everyone. Like an escape.

This news hit me hard. I saw Obama’s speech about this tragedy. He is addressing the situation as a parent. And it’s touching to see him reach out and said that his heart is broken. I just want him to know that of all the people in the world, at this instance, he has the most power to change this situation.

Please do something about the ownership of a gun in America. For the sake of the children. For the sake of the future.

Jacintha Saldanha - Will always be our Royal Nurse.

It's a sad,sad news. Jacitha Saldanha ...

When I heard the prank for the first time, first thought that came to me was how did they get through that easily? Apparently Jacintha was sitting in as a receptionist at that time. It was possibly 5:30am and she probably wasn’t expecting anyone to be so bold (or ruthless) to think that that would be a great joke.

The whole world heard it. And for a while, these two DJs celebrated their triumph for being able to be the greatest imposters of Prince Charles and the Queen. Mel & MC  (DJs from a Australian Network) were being their funny self and thought it was ok to impose as the royals. (Why wouldn’t they start with their own president first? Or have they done that as well?)

    

It wasn’t a bad joke until the latest turn around. The person who answered the call( Nurse Jacintha Saldanha) innocently was trying to assist the queen in her quest to see how Kate was doing. Jacintha, answered the call. However when the prank call was put on air all over the world, it was too much for Jacintha.

Jacintha (who seeks solace in doing an excellent job, no less) found that to have people staring or whispered quite obviously about how that was a careless mistake was too overwhelmingly disappointing on herself. Just imagine the thoughts running through her mind before she resorted to suicide. :(

Was it really careless? I don’t think so. Everyone probably think that she shouldn’t have passed the call. But she has so much respect for the Queen that she was more than happy to assist the Queen in every way possible. Without any doubt in her mind, there would be ruthless imposters out there who would do this as pure fun. How would she know?

If the papparazis and the curious journalists haven’t tried that method ever, why would these ordinary DJs think it was ok to be a nosey from right across the globe? Would I feel upset at these DJs if Jacintha is still alive today? I possibly would be since that would mean she will be reprimanded by her boss and also being talked about in the hospital. The repercussion of such joke hasn’t been thought through obviously. If they do much thinking at all.

Nurse Jacintha Saldanha, is loved by everyone. She finds peace and serenity in having being accepted and liked by her peers and her boss. And she has come all the way from India to make a good living for her children and herself. She has worked so hard to come to where she was at that point of her  life.

Jacintha  excelled in being a great loving mother and while she was at work she found soaring pride in doing her best. Her kids are all grown up and she should celebrate her achievements as being a good employee and a great mother but obviously now he couldn’t. She had two kids who love her dearly and have now being left without a mother. Her husband is still trying to get a grip of what is happening. Confusion is an understatement to what he is feeling at the moment. It was supposed to be FOREVER. And while he thought they would grow old together, this incident (which could easily be avoided) had to happen.

While she was in her own premises not bothering anyone,the DJs felt the need to increase their ratings at the price of someone’s job. They didn’t think that she would get into some kind of trouble for passing the phone? Doesn’t it cross their mind the slightest bit? Of course not.

The days following the worldwide incident must have been horrifyingly terrible for Jacintha since she was waiting for the hospital’s reaction against her. Although they claimed they didn’t do anything harsh on her, I’m pretty sure there must be some sort of reprimanding involved since it involved the royals. And for Jacintha, a good girl from a small village (who finds pride in being on the good books and excel in doing a great job) that was a total let-down on herself.

I can imagine the loud whispers which had been going around as she walked through the hallway. I can imagine the gossips which spurred at the staff canteen which quickly halt to a silent the minute she walked in. I could imagine her locker having more than a few notes of reminders of what a disappointment she was for passing the phone. It was a mistake. Get over it. She was excited to be working so closely with the royals. Yes it could have been more stringent. But that was indeed the first time anyone was bold enough to be imposters.

What is the verdict for the two DJ’s? Are they going to be in trouble for what they did? Is there any consequences for this act? Are we teaching our kids that if you are popular in school it’s ok to bully those who are decent and quiet even if it means it would drive them to their death? What message are we sending now?

At the moment, I have seen many articles on Facebook from my fellow Australian relatives and friends asking us to support the DJs and give them a break because they are getting one of the worse backlash ever. Apparently they are getting death threats and they think their lives are in danger. Oh wow. What did you think Jacintha went through?? I didn’t click “LIKE”. I didn’t think it was necessary. One click of a button wouldn’t change the world. And maybe….just MAYBE, that is the only way for these 2 bold & beautiful (or so they thought) to learn about mental bully.

Should they be protected in case the death threats are real? Yes but let them feel the hostility that they get for being so proud for being the biggest imposters. Apparently after apologising, they still went on and joked about the hoax. Are they really sorry about it? I doubt it.

There should be a clause or a BOLD PRINT for someone like them, to know the line that they cannot cross. It’s the same when you are in school there are rules and regulations to follow and you are definitely aware that putting a prank on your school principal will come with a huge punishment. They are off the air for a while apparently. Let’s see for how long that is going to last.

Radio DJ’s should have known that really. But these 2 must have thought that they are so up there (even though I never knew them till this incident happened) that they could do anything they want.

NOT!!

They forgot who the royals are, I suppose. Consequences for their actions should follow. I haven’t seen or heard any other radio station bold enough to be imposters of the royals. Shame of them.

No “LIKE” click from me definitely.

For Jacintha Saldanha’s family, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. It shouldn’t have ended this way.

For her 2 kids, there are a lot of bad people out there, it’s just really bad that it happened to your lovely mom. Having said that, there’s usually only a handful of rotten eggs in a big basket of wonderful great ones. Be strong & make your mommy proud.

For Jacintha’s husband, thank you for being strong for the kids….Condolences from my family.

Big hug……. Rest In Peace dear Jacintha….

Rude Aussie experience

I had quite an experience today to make me believe that there is a serious problem in this world!

I was at IKEA carpark (Singapore – Alexandra Branch) this morning. Was there at 10 am and and left at 10:15 am. Yup, I knew I wanted, grabbed and go. I have always been known to all my friends to be a very very safe driver. Too safe actually. Yes, they do make fun of me a lot!

As I was about to exit my parking lot, I checked for any incoming cars or people along my way and when it was all clear. So I slowly started to move out of my lot when all of a sudden, a woman came running straight in front of my car! Out of nowhere. Clearly she was running with a trolley in front of her and she came from the left where the pillar was, making it impossible to see her, especially at that speed!

She stopped just in time not to hit the trolley into my car. I halted the break! Mind you, I was at 8 km/hr. You know the starting mode whereby u haven’t even hit the accelerator?

I honestly didn’t see her during my checks and what was she doing running in front of cars when clearly my lights have been switched on for a while and she must have known I was going to move any time! She sighed as if I almost killed her. (At that speed. Right) Our eyes met. She gave me a piercing look almost as if she has super powers and was trying to squash me to death with her stares. I genuinely said sorry (Although it wasn’t exactly my fault was it? ) and she shook her head like as if that was the worst thing a human being could do but continued walking.

A big Audi drove in front of me. Apparently saw  what happened (They must be friends, who are blind to their friend’s mistake but blame others for everything) & gave me a mean look.  The car stopped and this woman pushing the trolley wailed "She almost killed me!!! Thank goodness I stopped!! These idiots shouldn't be driving!!! "

Excuse me??? Don’t we teach our kids not to run in car parks and be wary of moving cars??

100 Metres away was the car park barrier and the car was in front of it. I was behind the car. Obviously I was stuck. I could have driven around them but 4 women came out of the car and knocked on my window. Seeing that,I came out, thought we are all civilized people and I said sorry again because I am possibly the most careful person but I couldn't possibly see a running trolley from behind a pillar. The driver of the Audi suddenly shouted at me that I shouldn't be driving. What kind of an idiot I was! 

I was taken aback. I said calmly that we were all adults here and explained the obvious that their friend was running and I didn't see her from that angle. I reminded them again that I did a clearance check before I move and she came too sudden. But still I said sorry even though she shouldn't be running like that.

The driver got so mad. And said this is the reason why she hates the local.  (WHAT???!) Apparently she thinks we are all stupid and that we don't know how to drive and god knows how we got our license. (A little childish you think? Just a tad?) 

Again I reminded her, we are all adults and I've already said sorry what more would she need me to do. Obviously no one got hurt. But the woman with the trolley wailed “I could be killed!!!”

Drama queen. Mind you I don’t think she would behave like that if she was alone and her friends didn’t come out of the car. It was purely exaggeration purposes.

I said I was at 8km/h!! Let’s not exaggerate. The whole time I was keeping my cool and didn’t raise my voice like they do. In fact, I was smiling & being very polite. However that somehow have them thinking I'm a push over.

She kept referring me as YOU PEOPLE. I said “Hey come on, let’s not start name calling here. My husband is Aussie too.”

Then it took a sharp turn. Everything hurtful that you could think off came out of her mouth. There were so many vulgarities, it is even embarrassing to mention it here. Some of the things she said was that I must have a low life (prior to marrying an aussie) and a pathetic Aussie must have either got a bad taste or he is fat & ugly & had no choice.

Note: Not correct. I was the one with money & my hubby was a hunk !! Still is!! Less muscles now but he’s still a lean machine!

Well to me at least :)

She said that I should be grateful even getting the diamond ring (Wedding ring) & that I was even driving (Cost of driving a car here is super expensive. A normal car cost about 50000 pounds. I am driving a Mercedes which is of course around 200000 pounds so that was what these ladies were implying – that I only got this car because my husband bought for me. The “luxury” which I wouldn't get if I didn't marry my Aussie husband.

Note: Incorrect again. I bought the car myself as a present to myself for reaching my target goal in my business. So EXCUSE YOU?!!!!! I don't need a husband for that!!!

Worse of all, she asked if I sell myself sexually to gain all these from him? (Yup she was THAT vulgar. U can tell which class of Aussie she came from!! The lowest!)

She continue saying that she can't see why he would marry a girl like me with me being so stupid & just pure ignorant going around killing people. (Right. That’s my past time according to her)

And that even if he really did marry me, she claimed the ring on my hand could damn well be fake. (Well obviously she’s not that well versed with what’s a knock out and what’s real. That really says a lot about her) And that he probably do it out of pity!!

Can you believe these ladies? It's like high school “POPULAR” mean girls talking! But they are nowhere near as hot! It’s all too funny for me. We are at the same level of wealth. And yet they are acting like they haven’t got proper moral education. Ghees, I hope they are not mothers.

If that was enough, she said she bet I don't work because I am too stupid to do anything right. (Right. Because she knows me so well?? Wrong again! I’m working! I run & owned my very own successful advertising company – thank you very much!)

She said all 5 of them are partners in a kids company & they earn their own money. (Good for them. That makes us all equal then! What was the problem then?? Aaahhhh, because I’m apparently a LOCAL!)

I was overwhelmed hearing all these. I smiled (honestly I was slightly amused by it all and was looking forward to what else she could cook up as she went along). And I said “Ok, hope you feel better getting that out of your chest. Must be suffocating! Glad we cleared the air. I hope whatever issues in your life gets solved sooner rather than later or else you might just run out of locals to vent on. You look like you are a mother too. I would love to stay and let you rant further but I have kids to pick up & I wouldn't know how many Aussies I would have to stop or kill along the way. I also need to give them time to help them let off steam session for free. Like I do with you. I might as well provide the counselling couch!”

I laughed out loud. They looked confused for a while since that was the longest speech I made, & they suddenly heard my accent and went "You are American?" 

To which I thought quickly.... Why not bitches!! So I said yes. Haha

They looked confused & actually a little scared (Though I don’t know why). It could be because they were expecting me to be intimidated or at least cowered a little but I stood tall with a smile on my face, suddenly making them feel like they were the joke of the day (They actually were)

“Let me drive around your car & get through the barrier while you collect your thoughts. But before I go, do you wanna take a picture of me and my car to report to the police that I killed your friend who ran in front of my car, nearly hit that trolley into my car? Oh wait, she is still alive here”  I pointed to that woman with the trolley. “Maybe I should take a picture of you ladies so I can give the police pictures of racism in the act? What do you think?”

I saw the leader of the gang swallowed hard. Hah!!! You are playing with fire!!!!

I ended with “Didn’t think so.”

I walked into my car and drove away. They were still standing there. Confused and possibly scared. Didn't expect such vulgarities from someone driving expensive cars and possibly very rich. It's the biggest Audi car I've ever seen! They also have big diamond rings. So you can tell they are super rich. Well I kept my cool because I didn't wanna scoop as low as where they belong.

I'm too “majestic” for that kind of business hahaha.

Plus I love my face. Wouldn't wanna get into a brawl and have those dirty pathetic fist into my beautiful features. Would have made a great video to go viral. Had I have that video camera installed like those cabs have to record what's happening in front of the car, it would have gone wild! Maybe they would be embarrassed. ;) Of themselves

They must have just gotten rich or something. Clearly, they haven’t settle very well in their new lifestyle. They are supposed to be calm and collective and know better than to let their emotions take control of them.

It was disgusting but it gives me another story to blog about . Haha. So thank you for that.

Meanwhile, if you have read about my past, I was brought up as an Aussie. My husband is an Aussie and his family are the best people I know. So it's a one off thing. 

Clearly there is a rotten egg in every basket! ;) I just happened to bump into them.  

Alissa Guernsey's Murder

Recently, I stumbled upon an article which really touched my heart deep. An article about a girl named Alissa Guernsey. She was only 15 months old when she died.

A child as young as that, a time when they are most cuddly, how would anyone have the knack to even hurt her?! We wonder ....

There are a lot of nonsense on Facebook. Some said click like if you believe in god. Yes, like God is gonna put you in heaven for one click on Facebook! Dream on.

And there were some saying, click LIKE if you want to save this girl's life. A picture was included of a terminally ill child. So are there some sick people out there who actually said "Ok, I will give a million for her surgery if there is 1 million LIKE clicks on Facebook "

When you really THINK about it, it's just a self-driven thing in Facebook to make people click. Click LIKE if you do not want to go to hell. Well, I didn't, will I go to hell even though I've been a kind soul on earth??? Go figure.

Anyway, one of the click LIKE thing is this article on Alissa. See, I don't completely over see these clicking business. I still read the articles and some are worthwhile and some are worth your attention.

This on Alissa grabbed my attention so much that I started to google about her only to find out that her death was in 2009. The year my daughter was born.

I read her story about how she lost her dad and her custody was given to her cousin! Apparently at that time, Alissa's mother was charged for drug abused so much so that her children were removed from her and given to her cousin & murderer Christy Shaffer.

Her death, although a little late, had at first got her mother (Kelli Sprunger) hit rock bottom & then slowly regaining her life and getting herself close to God. Kelli regretted that her misuse of drugs have eventually caused her daughter to die in the hands of her own cousin.

I could just imagine how she must have felt and I am proud of her for wanting to change for the better. Her wakeup call came a little harsh and a little too late but she still has other kids that she now has a chance to take care of.

Christy was supposed to be sentenced to 10 years in jail. Out of which, 6 years were suspended. And due to good behaviour, Christy was released only after 77 days in jail.

Is that justice? Just imagine Alissa's cries for help when she was hit again and again. And no one was there to help her. She was in pain...

If you are a mother, you can relate to the loss of this beautiful baby. If you would, instead of just clicking LIKE, please go to the link below and let’s join hands to have a petition on this. Please, let’s make a difference.

 http://community.babycenter.com/post/a37196974/alissa_guernsey_needs_your_help_child_abusemurder_trigger

Dr Richard Teo - Singapore

Recently, I was visiting an uncle and an aunt in 2 separate hospitals. One was diagnosed with Tuberculosis. While the other has yet to be confirmed ( results to be out in 2 weeks).

While I was there, among many other relatives who were there accompanying our sick relatives, another uncle talked about his near missed experience with cancer.

It wouldn’t have been detected if he didn't go for his annual check up.They found something just not quite right about his kidney. They did some test and found some cancerous cells in it.

It was an early stage. Only detected because he did an annual check-up. He is cancer free today because he acted on it before it dominates him.

Meanwhile, the others, like my mom, do not believe in doing this regular thorough check up.

What if there are cancerous cells in any one of us? Cancer seems to be creeping up on us when we least expect it. It’s a scary notion to have everything under control but to have your body cells ruined by these damn cancer cells??!!! It’s just heart breaking. How can something so not tangible (you can’t even strangle it to death, damn it!) rule our fear!???

Recently, I stumbled upon an article about a doctor. Here’s the link:

http://www.nextinsight.net/index.php/story-archive-mainmenu-60/916-2012/5992-dr-richard-teo-

Please have a read. It was a moving speech he gave to the future doctors whom we hope will learn from his experience. Dr Teo had everything he ever wanted. He was at the pinnacle of his life! And yet, everything crumbled in a min when the news was told to him that he had a stage 4B cancer dominating his whole body.

What can be done? Nothing. Not even the millions he had could save him. He was talented, good looking, rich and successful. Everything a man can ever wish for. And yet, it was all short-lived.

When I read his speech, it was almost like a plot written for the movies. Isn’t it a cliché that the successful one always get such down fall? To hear it in real life, from a real person, makes it all so surreal and scary altogether.

Cancer can be anywhere. It can creep on you at any point of your lives. It has no emotions to let you stay longer with your loved ones.

I beg everyone (and myself included) to please have a regular check up to detect any signs early so that this evil “disease” can be eradicated before it invades every inch of your body.

Have early detection. Don’t wait. Till it’s too late.

Do I want a 3rd one? Hmmmm ...

So my kids are not babies anymore. They are more fun to be with and they are wonderful to travel with. Traveling became a breeze. Well, compared to how it was before.

While waiting for our flight to France, in London, I was recalling the many gushes and gasped we got from my husband's side of the family.

Our kids are mixed. And therefore they look "different".

That was the first time my husband's family saw the kids and they were completely smitten by both of them. They even took time off to spend their time with the kids.

As we travelled together through England, I saw them proudly held my kids' hands and was enjoying the admiration and the stares we got from everyone else.

My son is a charmer. He would wave and blow kisses at anyone who walks pass him which made him so irressitable! He has dimples on both cheeks and he smiles and chuckles making everyone else feels like they are so funny or entertaining.

My daughter takes a while to warm up usually but when she does, her giggles and her laughter attracts a lot of admiration too. She has a beautiful smile. And too often, people stopped us to tell us how beautiful they are.

I really didn't think much about it until my hubby's uncle leaned on me and said "You two produced such beautiful babies. You sure you want to stop at 2?"

Good question. For the longest time, we never thought about having more. I don't even know if I can but I didn't consider having more after the birth of my son.

My experience  in delivering my daughter (In Singapore) was so beautiful and effortless that I remembered telling my husband that we can have 7 if he wants to. Yup, it was that breezy for me (with the help of epidural of course).

The experience wasn't quite the same for my son. We gave birth to him in Australia and the experience was so traumatising that I said I will never ever have another baby!

So that was that. I always said now that we have a boy and a girl,the factory is closed. We said it too many times that we somehow both were convinced that that was what we want.

When my hubby's uncle asked me about it, I just smiled. I didn't even think it through. My husband was also talking about plans for our holidays next year which of course will not have any room for an infant! So we really didn't take it seriously.

Until I was sitting there in the lounge, waiting for the next flight and staring at my kids playing and giggling.... such beautiful creatures. Annoying at times but they are mostly good kids. I enjoyed the time I had so far, watching them grow... I know I'm reminiscing as if they are all grown up and walking down the aisle....we are talking about a short time here. One is 3 and one is almost 2. Haha

Still, I watched them from an infant to being able to tell me to drive carefully. :) I love them so much and hearing so many people, including my mother in law, saying that she regretted stopping at 2, it made me contemplate the situation.

Am I getting clucky? Not really? I have things planned out for me for the next 2 years which wouldn't allow me to have any babies these 2 years. We have holidays planned as well. Everything we do or planned do not include a 3rd one.

I briefly mentioned it to my husband, one drunk night and he asked if I was ready to go through everything again. It wasn't quite clear if he wants it or not but I quickly dropped the subject somehow.

When we returned back home from our holiday, we had a little gathering to catch up with family after 3 weeks of being away. It was on this day that my brother announced that his wife is 7 weeks pregnant! Their second pregnancy is conceived when their 1st was 6 months old. Exactly the age when my daughter was when I conceived my son. We congratulated them & we celebrated the joyous news.

On the drive back, I brought up that it was strange that this news came a day after we were talking about it!! And yet it is not us, it's my brother's family. :)

Then I missed my period. It was supposed to come on the 20th and ya big deal, I'm just 4 days late!! Yet, it's been playing in my head .. what if??!!! I mentally tried to find ways to actually change the plans to make it possible to have an infant - nope, haven't found anything yet but my brain was constantly trying ... I looked through the internet and see when should I check with a pregnancy kit. It says 6-12 after conception. When is conception? Yup, I got busy checking all these and used up a full day!

I know I am not ready mentally and maybe it will be too wishful to think it'll happen again (since doctors are still wondering how I conceinved my 2 kids when I have been diagnosed as not being able to conceive any1) but I found a little bit of happiness, (just a little bit - obviously I forgot the pain of the 1st year) sitting in my heart wanting it to be true.

So this morning, I bought a pregnancy kit. I didn't discuss with anyone. Not even with my husband. I've missed my period and after spending a whole afternoon reminding myself all  info that I already knew from the past kids, I've decided to take a pregnancy kit.

I was quietly playing in my head of ways to tell my husband that I'm pregnant. I replayed it again and again and again ... so In a way, I think I must want it somehow.

I did the test when the kids were taking a nap. And it came out ........ NEGATIVE.

I sat there, feeling a little sad. Weird isn't it? I'm not even supposed to have this baby?? Then I started telling myself that maybe I didn't wait long enough or maybe I did it wrong and that's why it's negative.

I saw myself talking myself into it as if all I wanted to see was it's POSITIVE! That scares me a little.What's going on?

I don't know really .... Realistically, the period is possibly delayed due to the hectic traveling and the aftermath of catching up on piles of work after a holiday. But this stubborn brain just wouldn't wanna believe it....

So PERIOD, please stop playing games with my head. You either come soon and put this questions to rest or make it positive! Either way, I'll be happy I guess. :)

Love,

Me