Rude Aussie experience

I had quite an experience today to make me believe that there is a serious problem in this world!

I was at IKEA carpark (Singapore – Alexandra Branch) this morning. Was there at 10 am and and left at 10:15 am. Yup, I knew I wanted, grabbed and go. I have always been known to all my friends to be a very very safe driver. Too safe actually. Yes, they do make fun of me a lot!

As I was about to exit my parking lot, I checked for any incoming cars or people along my way and when it was all clear. So I slowly started to move out of my lot when all of a sudden, a woman came running straight in front of my car! Out of nowhere. Clearly she was running with a trolley in front of her and she came from the left where the pillar was, making it impossible to see her, especially at that speed!

She stopped just in time not to hit the trolley into my car. I halted the break! Mind you, I was at 8 km/hr. You know the starting mode whereby u haven’t even hit the accelerator?

I honestly didn’t see her during my checks and what was she doing running in front of cars when clearly my lights have been switched on for a while and she must have known I was going to move any time! She sighed as if I almost killed her. (At that speed. Right) Our eyes met. She gave me a piercing look almost as if she has super powers and was trying to squash me to death with her stares. I genuinely said sorry (Although it wasn’t exactly my fault was it? ) and she shook her head like as if that was the worst thing a human being could do but continued walking.

A big Audi drove in front of me. Apparently saw  what happened (They must be friends, who are blind to their friend’s mistake but blame others for everything) & gave me a mean look.  The car stopped and this woman pushing the trolley wailed "She almost killed me!!! Thank goodness I stopped!! These idiots shouldn't be driving!!! "

Excuse me??? Don’t we teach our kids not to run in car parks and be wary of moving cars??

100 Metres away was the car park barrier and the car was in front of it. I was behind the car. Obviously I was stuck. I could have driven around them but 4 women came out of the car and knocked on my window. Seeing that,I came out, thought we are all civilized people and I said sorry again because I am possibly the most careful person but I couldn't possibly see a running trolley from behind a pillar. The driver of the Audi suddenly shouted at me that I shouldn't be driving. What kind of an idiot I was! 

I was taken aback. I said calmly that we were all adults here and explained the obvious that their friend was running and I didn't see her from that angle. I reminded them again that I did a clearance check before I move and she came too sudden. But still I said sorry even though she shouldn't be running like that.

The driver got so mad. And said this is the reason why she hates the local.  (WHAT???!) Apparently she thinks we are all stupid and that we don't know how to drive and god knows how we got our license. (A little childish you think? Just a tad?) 

Again I reminded her, we are all adults and I've already said sorry what more would she need me to do. Obviously no one got hurt. But the woman with the trolley wailed “I could be killed!!!”

Drama queen. Mind you I don’t think she would behave like that if she was alone and her friends didn’t come out of the car. It was purely exaggeration purposes.

I said I was at 8km/h!! Let’s not exaggerate. The whole time I was keeping my cool and didn’t raise my voice like they do. In fact, I was smiling & being very polite. However that somehow have them thinking I'm a push over.

She kept referring me as YOU PEOPLE. I said “Hey come on, let’s not start name calling here. My husband is Aussie too.”

Then it took a sharp turn. Everything hurtful that you could think off came out of her mouth. There were so many vulgarities, it is even embarrassing to mention it here. Some of the things she said was that I must have a low life (prior to marrying an aussie) and a pathetic Aussie must have either got a bad taste or he is fat & ugly & had no choice.

Note: Not correct. I was the one with money & my hubby was a hunk !! Still is!! Less muscles now but he’s still a lean machine!

Well to me at least :)

She said that I should be grateful even getting the diamond ring (Wedding ring) & that I was even driving (Cost of driving a car here is super expensive. A normal car cost about 50000 pounds. I am driving a Mercedes which is of course around 200000 pounds so that was what these ladies were implying – that I only got this car because my husband bought for me. The “luxury” which I wouldn't get if I didn't marry my Aussie husband.

Note: Incorrect again. I bought the car myself as a present to myself for reaching my target goal in my business. So EXCUSE YOU?!!!!! I don't need a husband for that!!!

Worse of all, she asked if I sell myself sexually to gain all these from him? (Yup she was THAT vulgar. U can tell which class of Aussie she came from!! The lowest!)

She continue saying that she can't see why he would marry a girl like me with me being so stupid & just pure ignorant going around killing people. (Right. That’s my past time according to her)

And that even if he really did marry me, she claimed the ring on my hand could damn well be fake. (Well obviously she’s not that well versed with what’s a knock out and what’s real. That really says a lot about her) And that he probably do it out of pity!!

Can you believe these ladies? It's like high school “POPULAR” mean girls talking! But they are nowhere near as hot! It’s all too funny for me. We are at the same level of wealth. And yet they are acting like they haven’t got proper moral education. Ghees, I hope they are not mothers.

If that was enough, she said she bet I don't work because I am too stupid to do anything right. (Right. Because she knows me so well?? Wrong again! I’m working! I run & owned my very own successful advertising company – thank you very much!)

She said all 5 of them are partners in a kids company & they earn their own money. (Good for them. That makes us all equal then! What was the problem then?? Aaahhhh, because I’m apparently a LOCAL!)

I was overwhelmed hearing all these. I smiled (honestly I was slightly amused by it all and was looking forward to what else she could cook up as she went along). And I said “Ok, hope you feel better getting that out of your chest. Must be suffocating! Glad we cleared the air. I hope whatever issues in your life gets solved sooner rather than later or else you might just run out of locals to vent on. You look like you are a mother too. I would love to stay and let you rant further but I have kids to pick up & I wouldn't know how many Aussies I would have to stop or kill along the way. I also need to give them time to help them let off steam session for free. Like I do with you. I might as well provide the counselling couch!”

I laughed out loud. They looked confused for a while since that was the longest speech I made, & they suddenly heard my accent and went "You are American?" 

To which I thought quickly.... Why not bitches!! So I said yes. Haha

They looked confused & actually a little scared (Though I don’t know why). It could be because they were expecting me to be intimidated or at least cowered a little but I stood tall with a smile on my face, suddenly making them feel like they were the joke of the day (They actually were)

“Let me drive around your car & get through the barrier while you collect your thoughts. But before I go, do you wanna take a picture of me and my car to report to the police that I killed your friend who ran in front of my car, nearly hit that trolley into my car? Oh wait, she is still alive here”  I pointed to that woman with the trolley. “Maybe I should take a picture of you ladies so I can give the police pictures of racism in the act? What do you think?”

I saw the leader of the gang swallowed hard. Hah!!! You are playing with fire!!!!

I ended with “Didn’t think so.”

I walked into my car and drove away. They were still standing there. Confused and possibly scared. Didn't expect such vulgarities from someone driving expensive cars and possibly very rich. It's the biggest Audi car I've ever seen! They also have big diamond rings. So you can tell they are super rich. Well I kept my cool because I didn't wanna scoop as low as where they belong.

I'm too “majestic” for that kind of business hahaha.

Plus I love my face. Wouldn't wanna get into a brawl and have those dirty pathetic fist into my beautiful features. Would have made a great video to go viral. Had I have that video camera installed like those cabs have to record what's happening in front of the car, it would have gone wild! Maybe they would be embarrassed. ;) Of themselves

They must have just gotten rich or something. Clearly, they haven’t settle very well in their new lifestyle. They are supposed to be calm and collective and know better than to let their emotions take control of them.

It was disgusting but it gives me another story to blog about . Haha. So thank you for that.

Meanwhile, if you have read about my past, I was brought up as an Aussie. My husband is an Aussie and his family are the best people I know. So it's a one off thing. 

Clearly there is a rotten egg in every basket! ;) I just happened to bump into them.  

Feeling Like A-Not-Good-Enough Mother

Have you ever felt like you are not a good enough mother? Or is it just me?

Sometimes I feel like that. I have a 31 months old daughter & a 16 months old son. Both very hyperactive.The small gap between them provides a love hate relationship.

Most times, they love each other. But there are times when they would literally hurt each other.

Sometimes I would have to cancel a conference call to attend to my children. Although we have a maid, her main job scope is cooking & cleaning. It's pretty normal in Singapore that having a maid means you have a babysitter 24-7!

Maybe I'm just stubborn or just too anal, but I have never left my children with my maid. There is nothing wrong with leaving the kids with her. I can trust her. But I just have this snobbish feeling that they are mine & only me, me, me shall take care of them.

Running an advertising company in Singapore & Australia means I have to REALLY juggle my time between kids, employees & work. I did it so well for a while but I think the system is beginning to fall through now. The kids are getting older & being in my office, doodling, playing with their toys  just won't do it anymore.

My daughter is in playschool now. She goes to school every day from 9:30 am till 12:30 pm. During that time, I work since my son would have his nap anyway. I would fetch her & I would play with the kids till it's their nap time. While they are sleeping, I would rush my job to cover as many as I can within the short period of time. Yup, I am amazed to what I could do in a short period of time when I am so pressured! ;)

They would wake up at 4pm. I would take them to the playground, to the beach or to the pool. Wear them out. And take them home, shower them, have dinner (with my husband too) & put them to bed.

That would be around 8pm. I would work a bit more, till maybe 9:30 or 10 pm before I joined my husband in the living room for our quality time.

We usually do not go to bed earlier than midnight. We have so much to catch up on about the day.  I am working & taking care of the kids during the day which means my husband does the night shift! :)

I do not wake up to attend to them. I might be woken up by them from their crying but my husband attends to them. Have no idea how or when we ended up having such a routine. We definitely didn't talk about it. My husband is glad to do it though. He said otherwise he feels like he is missing the bonding part with his children.... …alright,dear....if you insist! ;)

Anyway, lately, my daughter has been acting different. Maybe it's just being a terrible two. Or maybe there is something more.

I have always not in favour of smacking or screaming at my children. I use the NAUGHTY CHAIR technique. And it was working on my daughter for the longest time till recently.

She became somewhat angry ... ALL THE TIME. And she would say she hates me. And everything that is normal... like having lunch or dinner... she would oppose to it. I was certain that she was just refusing lunch & dinner just to piss  us off. Or to get a reaction from us.

For the longest time, I have been very patient. When she starts her tantrum, I would validate if she needs a hug (against her wish of course) or should I ignore her.

Once in Target in Australia, she decided to wail & lay down in the middle of the aisle. I let her. I sat somewhere nearby & told her that once her performance is over, I would be just there waiting for her. After 5 minutes of shouting & screaming (of course it came with a lot of staring, head shaking & nasty remarks from other people about how I should control my child), she finally came to me & apologised (where were the nasty remark people now?? They should have seen that!)

Right.... my daughter is not all bad. Somehow or rather, she does come to her senses eventually & would come and apologise.... but before that, the whole public humiliation has grown me 6 inch of skin. Yup, I'm a thick skin mama now.

On the other hand, sometimes all she needed was a hug but she refused to admit it. She would be throwing herself on the floor, screaming & crying, kicking & punching anyone who gets in her way.

No one else seems to be able to handle her except me. I would grab her making sure that I lock her arms & legs in my embrace so that I don't get hurt, and hold her very tight, whispering "I love you so much sweetheart. I really do... It's ok.... I'm here with you"

That seems to calm her down. Eventually I could feel her body softens & she would apologise & kiss me.

I would then take the chance to explain what she did wrong. I kept it at only 2 sentences before I hug her again.

Having said that, I do not handle it well all the time. There were times when she would do anything just to stir up her little brother. Or vice versa. And it's always happening when I have a dateline or I have to answer a call. Or reply to an urgent email. All the crucial time in the world!

How I do what I do, I don't know. I am taking one day at a time but yesterday I lost it.

They were arguing & my daughter suddenly whipped her hand up & hit her brother. After getting into a string of trouble before that & too many scolding which didn't seem to sink in, I got so mad that I shouted at her... I was shocked myself. Both my children stopped & starred at me.

Then I had a sense of panic ... Oh no what have I done?! I lost control! I really did. For the very first time, I asked the maid to watch the kids while I went to the bathroom to regain my composure. I was disappointed at myself. I was broken - by a 2 year old She won! I lost! I mean seriously!! How can that even be possible?!

After a few minutes, I came out again & what a surprise ... they were arguing. The shout didn't change anything. Which confirms the fact that screaming at my children is a waste of time. What I was afraid to admit was that, 20 minutes later, my daughter got really upset that she shouted at me. What have I done? She seems to learn the wrong thing?! She seems to think that if you are super angry, just shout!!!

I felt like a total loser. Tried to call my husband but he was in a meeting. I was somehow disappointed in myself & felt like I'm the worse mother ever.

Then the conversations I had prior to these about how other mothers do this & that & how they control their children.....it was playing at the back of my head.... like a spoilt cassette recorder (If that even exists anymore!) Somehow I was spiralling down.... feeling sorry for myself & was even blaming me trying to juggle work & family as a reason.....

But wait, I work only when they are not available.... oh just let me feel sorry for myself!

It’s fair to say that I wasn’t proud of myself yesterday. Does that ever happened to you too? Or is it just me?