Miss Understood

I've always been gregarious & very vocal about my opinion. At the same time I know where to draw the line & not to offend anyone. Well, at least I try... ;)

Last night I had a conversation with my husband - during one of our quality time we spend with each other. We take this time to talk about everything under the sun & should we have an issue to bring up, we will TALK about it then.

One of the things which he brought up was the fact that I keep a distance with people who misunderstood me.

My theory is if I try to be nice to you & you take the opposite road, you make me not want to be in your way. So it's not really my fault really. :)

See, the thing is, my life has evolved - from a carefree party girl (who has a high paying job on top of a ladder) to being a mommy of two little babies (and my own company to run). At both time, I've always had lesser time in hand but I still give out more time to others..

When I wasn't married or have children, my job was the biggest responsibility for me. Therefore I did have time to still entertain people's stupidity.

At the moment, my hands are full. So I didn't try hard these days to fulfill everyone's wish to get the satisfaction to put me down & having to pull myself back up again. I know I'm tough like that.  Time's up!!! Those days are over!

My priority these days is clear. I don't have time for people's game. I made life simple for myself & I like it that way.

Remember I said I do my best not to offend people - well, the guilty will be offended about me writing this but heck if I can't even have freedom of speech here, it's not really a blog is it? And I bet the rest of you are dying to know anyway. So guilty people - bear with it. Read & learn.

For example, I'm not the favorite with my hubby's side. And I don't have a problem with it.

There are bigger things in life than struggling to be on other people's 'favorite' book. I know I am a good person & I am no ordinary typical woman which makes it hard for people to accept most times.

But I am me & I'm not sorry for who I am. My parents brought me up very well. I lived in a luxurious environment but I was never spoilt. Many cringe listening to how much I have to "work to earn" my own bicycle when I was 5. And yet, they must have taught me well enough because on the way to the bicycle shop, we came across a homeless woman & I gave up my savings (meant to buy the bicycle) to that woman. Nobody pressured me to that & yet at 5, I was thinking for others.

As I grow up, what I was taught never left me. I am still doing a lot of charity work & volunteering whenever I have the chance.

Because I grew up without parents from the age of 9, (Read "One bright light") it makes me a stronger person & more straight forward. I have little time to go around the bush.

Sometimes in life you can't help but wonder how people really think.

One good example was 5 years ago, before the kids, the wedding & after our engagement party.

I was thrilled that my husband's brother was coming over for our engagement party. I wanted to get to know him better. He's my husband baby brother & I wanted those intimate times of sitting down in front of the fire (not when I'm in Singapore of course), and laugh about all the silly stories they had while growing up. See... that was the plan.

Somehow or rather, my appreciation for  family was too naive. Maybe because I didn't grow up having any.

Anyway, my bro-in-law came & we had the party and although I wasn't too impressed by what was going on here, I gave him the benefit of the doubt & learned to like him.

Fast forward 2 weeks & he was back home. Everything was fine. Silly me ... I decided to write an email to my bro-in-law & his wife thanking him for his attendance at our engagement party & thanking both for the gift they got us - which I really like.

I wrote the email to him & CC to his wife. A week later I heard from my mother in law that his wife was bitching about how I only thank my bro-in-law & that it was unacceptable since she was the one who went shopping for the engagement gift.

Naturally I was shocked! I didn't know writing a thank you email would get me into this trouble. Maybe that's why my husband didn't bother to write one in the first place.

My good intentions was misconstrued out of proportion so much so that I was appalled that it could even be a problem!!!

Hang on, she was in the CC. What did I do wrong? When you write a CC, it basically means it's for both parties. Oh no,no,no ...  it's still not acceptable since I didn't CLEARLY say thank you only to her.

Whoa!!! Ok.... that's new. I know then that there is an issue here. And it's probably not me. Maybe she's getting nervous about another daughter in law coming into the picture. Maybe she's threatened that her warm & too comfortable spot with my mother in law would be replaced. Whatever it was, I didn't like to deal with other people's insecurities.

My solution is simple. If a thank you email can get me into this mess, then expect no email or news from me. Reason - if trying to build a bridge & it ended up with the bridge being burned down even before the construction is finished at the other end, then maybe to keep peace, it's best not to build a bridge in the first place.

So 5 years and 2 kids later, I still didn't try. My mother in law knows that probably damage is done. Maybe it's too late. The thing is I have been misunderstood & yet I didn't dwell about it or try to rectify the situation since I don't see it's worth the effort.

Eventually, it's my martyrdom apparently. Somehow they built a perception about me & stuck to it. And yes, I couldn't be bothered to waste my time on it to explain my innocence

Not the first time I have been misunderstood ....

Miss Kim Kardashian

As much as you love to hate her, (I know I'm going to be on your hate list) -  I do like her.  I don't know her in person. But I get her drift.

I mean what are the chances? She has two famous dads, crazy sisters who are just funny to watch (makes you go 'oh no they didnt!!'), mogul of a mom, beautiful half sisters ... ok, I can't say much of Rob but the rest, yes ... they are a great bunch.

Kris Jenner, somehow saw a vision - she saw her brood & in her brain she went ka-ching, ka-ching!! I mean if it makes their life better, why are we judging her as a mom , making her children & herself famous. She can think of a simplest issue in their life, turn it around and make it profitable. She does get carried away about the green notes but still, she is doing very well and doing too well for her kids.

Kim Kardashian, the queen of the empire has her ups and downs. At the end of the day, you see a sweet girl who just want to be loved.

She started young, wanting to be married & be domestic. She feels somehow giving herself to her man is just pure love. Nothing wrong with that - if you give that to the right man, that is.

I read about her first stunt marriage. Was just a silly young girl who wanted to belong to someone. Yes she was young. Possibly 19? I can't remember.

Then the sex tape scandal. All in a magical dream of pleasing her man. As you watch her reality show KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS, yes she has her angry moments, but when you really watch her, she is this sensitive, sweet girl who just want to find true love.

She's gorgeous, successful & you would think she can get any men she wants. She probably can but she is also shy & careful of being hurt. You see her through her marriage with Kris Humpries.

Love is blind. As a third party, watching their show, I learned about Miss Kim Kardashian. And through watching them too, I learned about Kris Humpries. Somehow or rather, I didn't like him from the begining. Sorry Kim.

I feel like he is too child like and too much of a joke to be with someone so sophisticated and so beautiful. And it seems so weird that through it all, while our brows frowned upon the things that came out of his mouth, Kim laughed & thought it was funny. One case of point of girl being so in love.

When they got married,  you have betting tables opening on the days they would stay married. How sad is that really?

Instead of hoping for the best and hope they'll grow old together, people were specualting when Kim is going to cut loose.

I am a nobody in Kim's eyes but somehow, I didn't feel Kris was right for her. She deserves better. And when she filed for a divorce, she pleaded for everyone to just understand the situation & respect her privacy.

It was hard for this girl. Everything she does is being scrutinised. Yet, she is still standing up there. Well done, Kim!

Well, as much as everyone makes fun of me for watching her & for thinking, there's nothing wrong with her (she's just being human), I hope from the bottom of my heart that one day Kim will find someone who truly deserves her wonderful self.

We saw Khloe became happy, we saw Kourney's bundle of joy (and soon to be another bundle), let's pray & hope that Kim's happiness is just around the corner.

Best of luck, Kim. Really want you to be truly happy. Hopefully sooner than later.

Tagging Tuna :)

Why some employers go everywhere with their maid?

Why not? The luxurious life in Singapore. :)

This morning, I was helping my friend with her RSVP card for her wedding. One of the card said that the guest would come with her whole family AND HER MAID.

Just like any stressed out bride-to-be, she started ranting for a bit. "Why on earth are they taking their maids with them??? I sometimes wonder??!! It's my wedding!!! Food is served! And you basically sit down and eat! Do you need to be fed by the maid??? Or why is there the need for the maid to be there! It's $100 worth of food here!!! "

A little lost, I extended my arm & handed over my Royce chocolate in the hope to calm her down. "I'M ON DIET!!!!"

Ok ... that didn't work.

Why wouldn't she be? Her wedding is coming, she's nervous, she's probably not even sure about this whole marriage thing, her low sugar level is driving her nuts - typical isn't it?

Mandy, probably the most calm among us all, said that it seems to be a norm here in Singapore. So, the debate started.

Which the bride seemed more willing to indulge than to really stress about her RSVP cards.

"I know too many people who goes everywhere with their maids. On one hand I can understand where they are coming from. Especially if there have kids, young babies or senior citizen. You kindda understand that they need help when they are out. Imagine dealing with children running off while you are trying to assemble the pram. You need more than 2 hands!"

"But my wedding!!!! Honestly??!! Do they go everywhere with their maid? Like a dolphin with a tagging tuna!" Sara, the bride squelled.

Notice that I kept my mouth shut here? ;) Never get into water which is already boiling - you will be burnt! I did, however take a mental note of the "tagging tuna" term she just used.

I understand her predicament. Taking maids to wedding is still rare here. You still see people taking maids to birthday parties though. I have seen too many parties where among the guests, you see the maids chasing after the kids.

Maybe Mandy is right. Mandy thinks that the parents have been working all week. And when they go to parties, they do not feel like dealing with petty things that their children may create. They may not even want to deal with any tantrums at all. They just get the maid to deal with them.

It is quite understandable when there are some actvities involved. Like when there is swimming involved. You may need an extra hand to take one child out of the pool etc. Or when you go to a friend's for dinner & she doesn't have a live in maid - bringing yours and having her help out with the dishes would help your friend out a bit. That makes a bit more sense.

But to a wedding or to a kid's birthday party where all you actually do is just eat & socialise, do you really need a maid to be around for that?

Mandy claimed that usually both parents work during the week. Therefore the maid spends more time with the children & therefore knows how to deal with them more than the parents. Hmmm, it's hard to really imagine that but I have to agree that I do have parents going to kids party & actually have little contact with the kids.

I do take my maid to my friend's place whereby they do not have a live in maid. But it's not too much on the kids but more on helping out with the dishes, making their lives easier so they could actually sit down & sit with us while the maid help clean up the mess.

I have two tiny kids which do make them sigh in relief to have their place all clean when we leave their premises.

Having said that, I do everything else without a maid. If my husband is around (and therefore already extra hand to help), I do not take my maid with me. Maybe it's just me but I felt like it may put the host in an awkward position. Plus it's nice to have family time with just us four.

While I'm not against people who does, it did create a good debate which calm our little miss princess.

The discussion saved the day :)