Dr Richard Teo - Singapore

Recently, I was visiting an uncle and an aunt in 2 separate hospitals. One was diagnosed with Tuberculosis. While the other has yet to be confirmed ( results to be out in 2 weeks).

While I was there, among many other relatives who were there accompanying our sick relatives, another uncle talked about his near missed experience with cancer.

It wouldn’t have been detected if he didn't go for his annual check up.They found something just not quite right about his kidney. They did some test and found some cancerous cells in it.

It was an early stage. Only detected because he did an annual check-up. He is cancer free today because he acted on it before it dominates him.

Meanwhile, the others, like my mom, do not believe in doing this regular thorough check up.

What if there are cancerous cells in any one of us? Cancer seems to be creeping up on us when we least expect it. It’s a scary notion to have everything under control but to have your body cells ruined by these damn cancer cells??!!! It’s just heart breaking. How can something so not tangible (you can’t even strangle it to death, damn it!) rule our fear!???

Recently, I stumbled upon an article about a doctor. Here’s the link:

http://www.nextinsight.net/index.php/story-archive-mainmenu-60/916-2012/5992-dr-richard-teo-

Please have a read. It was a moving speech he gave to the future doctors whom we hope will learn from his experience. Dr Teo had everything he ever wanted. He was at the pinnacle of his life! And yet, everything crumbled in a min when the news was told to him that he had a stage 4B cancer dominating his whole body.

What can be done? Nothing. Not even the millions he had could save him. He was talented, good looking, rich and successful. Everything a man can ever wish for. And yet, it was all short-lived.

When I read his speech, it was almost like a plot written for the movies. Isn’t it a cliché that the successful one always get such down fall? To hear it in real life, from a real person, makes it all so surreal and scary altogether.

Cancer can be anywhere. It can creep on you at any point of your lives. It has no emotions to let you stay longer with your loved ones.

I beg everyone (and myself included) to please have a regular check up to detect any signs early so that this evil “disease” can be eradicated before it invades every inch of your body.

Have early detection. Don’t wait. Till it’s too late.

Do I want a 3rd one? Hmmmm ...

So my kids are not babies anymore. They are more fun to be with and they are wonderful to travel with. Traveling became a breeze. Well, compared to how it was before.

While waiting for our flight to France, in London, I was recalling the many gushes and gasped we got from my husband's side of the family.

Our kids are mixed. And therefore they look "different".

That was the first time my husband's family saw the kids and they were completely smitten by both of them. They even took time off to spend their time with the kids.

As we travelled together through England, I saw them proudly held my kids' hands and was enjoying the admiration and the stares we got from everyone else.

My son is a charmer. He would wave and blow kisses at anyone who walks pass him which made him so irressitable! He has dimples on both cheeks and he smiles and chuckles making everyone else feels like they are so funny or entertaining.

My daughter takes a while to warm up usually but when she does, her giggles and her laughter attracts a lot of admiration too. She has a beautiful smile. And too often, people stopped us to tell us how beautiful they are.

I really didn't think much about it until my hubby's uncle leaned on me and said "You two produced such beautiful babies. You sure you want to stop at 2?"

Good question. For the longest time, we never thought about having more. I don't even know if I can but I didn't consider having more after the birth of my son.

My experience  in delivering my daughter (In Singapore) was so beautiful and effortless that I remembered telling my husband that we can have 7 if he wants to. Yup, it was that breezy for me (with the help of epidural of course).

The experience wasn't quite the same for my son. We gave birth to him in Australia and the experience was so traumatising that I said I will never ever have another baby!

So that was that. I always said now that we have a boy and a girl,the factory is closed. We said it too many times that we somehow both were convinced that that was what we want.

When my hubby's uncle asked me about it, I just smiled. I didn't even think it through. My husband was also talking about plans for our holidays next year which of course will not have any room for an infant! So we really didn't take it seriously.

Until I was sitting there in the lounge, waiting for the next flight and staring at my kids playing and giggling.... such beautiful creatures. Annoying at times but they are mostly good kids. I enjoyed the time I had so far, watching them grow... I know I'm reminiscing as if they are all grown up and walking down the aisle....we are talking about a short time here. One is 3 and one is almost 2. Haha

Still, I watched them from an infant to being able to tell me to drive carefully. :) I love them so much and hearing so many people, including my mother in law, saying that she regretted stopping at 2, it made me contemplate the situation.

Am I getting clucky? Not really? I have things planned out for me for the next 2 years which wouldn't allow me to have any babies these 2 years. We have holidays planned as well. Everything we do or planned do not include a 3rd one.

I briefly mentioned it to my husband, one drunk night and he asked if I was ready to go through everything again. It wasn't quite clear if he wants it or not but I quickly dropped the subject somehow.

When we returned back home from our holiday, we had a little gathering to catch up with family after 3 weeks of being away. It was on this day that my brother announced that his wife is 7 weeks pregnant! Their second pregnancy is conceived when their 1st was 6 months old. Exactly the age when my daughter was when I conceived my son. We congratulated them & we celebrated the joyous news.

On the drive back, I brought up that it was strange that this news came a day after we were talking about it!! And yet it is not us, it's my brother's family. :)

Then I missed my period. It was supposed to come on the 20th and ya big deal, I'm just 4 days late!! Yet, it's been playing in my head .. what if??!!! I mentally tried to find ways to actually change the plans to make it possible to have an infant - nope, haven't found anything yet but my brain was constantly trying ... I looked through the internet and see when should I check with a pregnancy kit. It says 6-12 after conception. When is conception? Yup, I got busy checking all these and used up a full day!

I know I am not ready mentally and maybe it will be too wishful to think it'll happen again (since doctors are still wondering how I conceinved my 2 kids when I have been diagnosed as not being able to conceive any1) but I found a little bit of happiness, (just a little bit - obviously I forgot the pain of the 1st year) sitting in my heart wanting it to be true.

So this morning, I bought a pregnancy kit. I didn't discuss with anyone. Not even with my husband. I've missed my period and after spending a whole afternoon reminding myself all  info that I already knew from the past kids, I've decided to take a pregnancy kit.

I was quietly playing in my head of ways to tell my husband that I'm pregnant. I replayed it again and again and again ... so In a way, I think I must want it somehow.

I did the test when the kids were taking a nap. And it came out ........ NEGATIVE.

I sat there, feeling a little sad. Weird isn't it? I'm not even supposed to have this baby?? Then I started telling myself that maybe I didn't wait long enough or maybe I did it wrong and that's why it's negative.

I saw myself talking myself into it as if all I wanted to see was it's POSITIVE! That scares me a little.What's going on?

I don't know really .... Realistically, the period is possibly delayed due to the hectic traveling and the aftermath of catching up on piles of work after a holiday. But this stubborn brain just wouldn't wanna believe it....

So PERIOD, please stop playing games with my head. You either come soon and put this questions to rest or make it positive! Either way, I'll be happy I guess. :)

Love,

Me

My Sweet, Loving Mother In Law

I respect anyone with their own views. I also expect people to respect my views & beliefs.

My mother in law is the sweetest person I've ever known. She would go to such an extend to make everyone feels go good.

She does get on my nerves sometimes but there's not an inch of me that do not love her so much that I know I would do everything I can for her.

Here are some of the points which bothered tickle my not so funny side.

MR & MRS BLUNDER

Last night my mother in law (MIL) 'whatsapp' (iphone & android application) me and asked if we have received our special card.

We have just arrived back home a 19 day holiday in London & in France. We haven't checked the mailbox.

I told her I will fetch it then & revert back to her. :) Before the card was in my hand, my husband and I were joking and laughing as always.

Then the card came to my hand and I saw "To Mr & Mrs XXXX"

I passed the card to my husband & bluntly said "She is pushing it doesn't she?"

Don't get me wrong. I think I'm blessed with the bet mother in law in the world. She would do so much for me & I would do the same for her. I love her dearly to a point that she knows me more than my biological mother knows me. I am more myself with her than I am with my biological mother!

Having said that, she has her traditional ways. And I've been a controversy since I came into my husband's life! I'm not traditional. I'm not what everyone expects of a wife or a mother or a daughter in law.

While she secretly enjoyed my free spirited mentality (since we joked a lot and I do make her laugh a whole lot.), she sometimes do wish I would conform a little bit to the rest of the world.

When we announced that we were getting married, she was quick to say that she can't wait for me to be part of the clan - to be yet another Mrs XXXX. And me being me, I was quick to say that I will be part of the clan but I will not take my husband's last name and will retain my last name.

That affected her for a long time. I had the dillema of conforming to make her happy while I am not at ease or let them get used to how things would be with me. Fair to say that I made up for not conforming in my other special ways. And slowly, she got over it.

Having said that, there will be random cards or word on the cake....something you can't take back which still pushes "Mrs XXXX"

And last night....5 years, 2 kids and many ups and downs (between me & her) later, she still wrote that. I was sad. It hurts me that I wasn't heard. I felt like I wasn't taken seriously. Like she thought this is just a fad or a thing that I would finally get over. I've told her the reason why I am keeping my last name. That was the only legal thing I have of my late parents and to have her disrespect that and still pushing it through - it hurts.

I did over react a little bit. After passing the card to my husband, I said "I'll make them learn!!! I'll change my kids last name only to mine!!!"

And my husband knows that if I say something like that, he knows I am capable of doing. He got upset. I got upset.

At the moment it's like "MINE-HIS" ... and no, I wasn't serious about changing their last names. Was just being defiant at that second. :)

And I said I didn't want to talk about it and went straight to bed. It bothered me so much that I was tossing and turning badly to a point that it became annoying!

I wrote a message to her & copied my husband on it

"I'm not Mrs XXXX. I'm Hera. Hate me for not conforming. I'm not afraid of being me, I'm not afraid of not being liked for something I believe in.

Somehow I haven't made myself clear enough.

All I'm asking is a bit of respect & acknowledgment that your are aware that I am not Mrx XXXX.

I can't open the car. I'm really sorry. It's not you. It's the principle. Have passed the card to your son. Maybe he will read it.

I do appreciate your thoughts though. Thank you so much for remembering our anniversary. And making the sweetest gesture of sending the card. Love u.

Thank you so much for having a big heart.

Just ... Hera"

I didn't hear from her for half a day before she replied "For god's sake , I forgot."

I don't know what to make of that. You forgot that I am not Mrs XXXX?? Well, she is old after all.

I am usually quick to forgive her because I know in many case she does things with good intentions. Like sending the card for our anniversary. She does have a big gigantic heart. She loves our kids and showered us with a whole lot of love. And I love her for that. But it's the small things that seals the deal..... like the name on the card.

This morning, my sweet husband was trying to make peace between the 2 important women in his life. He said his mom is old after all, she doesn't realise these things. I said I am aware of that but I also need to point out what's important for me. I told him I'm just upset. I love her no less but let me pour it out on a blog and feel better first before I deal with this again! ;)

It's one of those things, you know. Like I said, I think she is perfect for me. She is young at heart. She could take my jokes. But there are certain things which may cut the blade sometimes.

NOT ADDRESSING HER AS MOM

I could think of is when we just got a baby. 4 years ago. Before we were married I have never called her anything. not "mom", not her name. Nothing. When I need to address her, I went to her and speak to her. There wasn't a need to call out for her. There simply wasn't a need to do that.

I didn't see any problem with it at all. Well, what's not a problem for me, may be an issue for another. Just like this last name issue we are going through right now.

So one day, we had a "meet the baby" gathering. We live in Singapore and my husband's family lives in Australia. So when my daughter was like a month old or so, we decided to have a little gathering so they all get to see the new addition to the family. We have lived at her place for a week before the party was held.

During that party, she suddenly brought up to her cousin that she was nothing to me. Alright ..... well, I was sure we could have discussed about this NOT in front of everyone.

"I am 'she', 'her', 'your mom', but she has never address me as anything! I don't know what I am!!! I'm not mom. I'm not Mrs XXXX. Not even my name!" She retorted as tears welling up her eyes.

That did caught me off guard. I didn't expect that. I didn't realise it was bothering her. I didn't know. I should have seen it coming but it was all building up inside her and it had to burst out in an outrage right in front of all the guests.

Even though everyone was staring at me, I know I didn't need to address this issue in front of everyone. I just smiled at all the cold stares I was getting - Yes yet again I am the cold bitch! Voila! Here I am for everyone to see! 

My husband managed to break the silence by popping a bottle of champagne. I went to her, squeezed her hand & then gave her a hug. She leaned over and wiped her tears off.

The next day, I told her that I need more time. I haven't grown up with parents & to suddenly medal someone a mom (because I married her son), that is a little unfair for me as I don't want to replace my late mom's place yet. I took very long before I started calling my biological mom 'mommy', it'll take just as long for her too. It'll all take time.

Weird ain't it? She was just feeling a little insecure and I understand that. And I could have shouted at her and retaliate to why she had to create such a scene in front of the whole world. But I chose to hold her and tell her that I have my ways to show her how much I care for her.

NO JOINT ACCOUNT

Traditionally in a marriage, men & women shares their everything. My husband & I are 2 business people who has several business under our belts.

We do support each other if one business is in trouble than the other. However, what we don't have is a joint account.

Due to the complexity of our businesses & the vast difference of one business to another, we have never tempted to have a joint account until my mother in law actually brought it up.

She said that a husband and wife should share everything including a joint account. My independence seems to be something new for her.

Mind you she was also a working woman when she was younger but her husband is the bigger bread winner and she likes being taken care of.

Me on the other hand, loves to be independent. We spoke about this in 2007. She somehow felt that it's unheard of that I will not consider having a joint account.

I didn't quite understand the concept but we didn't bring it up again. So I guess from that point forward, she knows that I'm not that typical daughter in law she was hoping to get ;)

She loves me dearly though. Well, I want to believe so. :)

MY KIDS LAST NAME

When I was pregnant with my daughter, she was so happy. I wasn't born healthy so before my marriage I've told her that she shouldn't expect any babies along the way since the doctors said I will not be able to conceive.

3 months after marriage, somehow, by such miracle, I conceived. She was so happy and she was pampering me too much and she was also marking her territory.

She said this baby is going to be a XXXX (the family's last name). Well, needless to say, that kind of tone didn't do well with a feminist like me. I'm rebellious ESPECIALLY when someone demanded that things are done ONLY the way they want it.

The way I see it - I was the one being pregnant, I was the one going through the discomfort, I was the one getting fat - so nobody else should tell me what I should do. The last thing I need is someone pushing my daughter's last name on me because she is so afraid that I would not put the family's last name since I didn't take my husband's last name.

Well, it is still not his last name. I put both our last name as our kids' surname. Yet, there's that bit of regret for even adding my husband's last name. Because till today, my last name has always been conveniently skipped when their names are written on presents of cards. She still think that's the RIGHT thing to do.

I have every right to blow up. But I haven't. That was my kids and not entirely me. So I let it slide. Many many times. If it happens again this Xmas, it will not be pretty. I have told her many times that maybe she should just play it safe and just put their first name. And not get into too much trouble.

PORK, BACON, HAM, ETC

Being brought up an evangelist by my late parents, we do not eat pork or any form of it. And she was made known about it. My sweet husband has stopped consuming pork since we got together and he is still maintaining that stand after all these years.

Knowing that his wife doens't eat pork and her son is standing on that theory as well, she still buys his favourite ham or bacon from his favourite shop when he was a teenager and said she bought it only for him and therefore he has to eat it.

What do you call that? Mean to be waving a carrot in front of a donkey when the donkey has his mouth covered?

Was it a plight to check her influence on him, to see if she has power on him still? Was it her being insecure of his son's latest change? Coz he moved out when he was was 17 and he is 40 now. Before I came along, she hardly remembers that he likes those ham and bacon! It's not intentional, I know that because I know she won't even hurt an ant! But somehow she felt the need to remind him of his favourites now that he is not going to eat it? Strange aint it?

Anyway, one day, I will be a mother in law too. And there will be certain things  I want my way but I know that once the kids leave the nest, I would have no say whatsoever. And their first priority will always be the love of their lives. And I would need to respect that. Whether I like it or not (Possibly NOT)

It will take a lot of getting used to since I have been raising them and have been in charge of their everything & to see them abiding to their partner's rule instead of your preference, could be hurtful I guess.

Such is life though. Meanwhile, I'm still lucky that on top of some annoying points, she is still the best mother in law I could think of! :)

PS: And I'm even saying this even when she has no access to this blog!

I'm Not Cute, Mommy

This afternoon when I picked my kids up at their playgroup, the Principle and their teacher were going all crazy about my son going on a holiday.

They said they would miss him since he is the life of his little group and he is somehow the favourite of everyone. Well, he is a charmer. He smiles and even cheers on people he doesnt know. He basically makes people just wanna grab him & kiss him. Not that he's complaining. I'm sure that skill will come in handy when he's a teenager. :)

While the two ladies were going on and on about my son, my 3 year old daughter was standing there once in a while trying to smile or give flying kisses like what my son was doing. She probably felt like she needed to do that to be noticed? I don't know... She didn't say much but when we got into the car and as I was buckling them into the car seat she suddenly said " Mommy, I'm not so cute."

I was so surprised at that sentence. "Who told you that?"

"They don't smile and play with me like they do with him."

Wow. She has come to an age whereby she realised the preferences the teachers are giving. I hugged her and told her that she is my beautiful little girl.

She wasn't convinced but she wasn't going to pout about it either. It was more like her stating the fact and move on. Very mature of her. The rest of the afternoon, I reminded her constantly that she has beautiful hair, I love her smiles, etc, etc

She didn't look like she even remember about the extra attention that her brother was getting. Oh well.

It's something for me to take note. That she has learned to realise preferences.

Prestiousolutions Aesthetic Centre

About 6 months ago, I received a call from an aesthetic centre. My job is in marketing, therefore I tend to be more forgiving with marketing calls. This company claimed that my name has been chosen to receive a complimentary face treatment with no obligation. They also said I could bring a friend along.

According to them, their main goal is to create awareness about their presence in this industry. Even if I do not want to stay for the sales talk, apparently I was more than welcome to just come by & claim the complimentary treatment. Strange. How would they gain from this campaign? They said they are sponsored by VISA card.

Alright. I told them they would need to call me back since I didn’t have my calendar right then. After several calls, possibly 5 or 6 times later, I finally said yes and we made an appointment only last Sunday. Which would have been 4 months after I said yes. I booked in for my husband & I.

As the day drew closer, I began to get reminders after reminders about my appointment. They also reminded us that they need us to bring our ID & our VISA card.

A day before the appointment, another text message came telling me where to park, etc. On the day itself, I received a reminder. An hour before the appointment, another text message came asking if I was on the way.

Strange. They do look desperate. In any case, we had an open mind. We usually do not expect much from a free treatment. However, our investment was more on arranging our days.

Our Weekends are usually fully booked with parties or appointments or catching up sessions. Seeing that they said we should put aside 2 hours for this treatment, we arranged our schedule accordingly... to work around this appointment. We also have to drive an hour to the north to drop my kids before we drive to the centre for this treatment. Then again another hour to pick them up.

So, even though it was a free thing, our time & effort weren't easy to arrange. Nevertheless, we managed & we arrived on time.

Upon arriving, they asked for our ID. My husband was asking the relevance for the ID & they didn't seem to mind to explain.

The place was white and clean but it wasn't cosy or SPA like. It was more clinical than anything else. All my husband asked was the relevance for the ID.

All of a sudden, we saw a change. They didn't ask for 2 IDs like they stated in the text message "NO ID, NO TREATMENT" They also didn’t bother for us to fill up the form about our medical history - a typical routine before any facial treatment. They just asked my husband to sign a blank form with his name on it. They didn't even bother to offer me a form at all. So something was weird there. I didn’t say anything.

We were told at the front desk that we will be getting a cleansing, scrub and mask treatment. We just nodded politely since we have no idea what this whole "treatment" supposed to comprise.

So we were led to a "couple room". It wasn't like we were next to each other. We were at a different angle of the room so much so that we might as well be in a different room. We sat there without any instruction so I asked if we were supposed to take out our shirts  like it would have been the case for most face treatment.

They said no. Strange. We laid down, they pulled a thin blanket over our fully dressed body. Yes my husband still had shoes on. And the air con was warmish.

The ladies didn’t wash their hands before they started foaming their hands. They are possibly cleaning their hands while foaming & lathering and place all their germs into our face. They also have a bucket of water in the middle. For these two ladies to wash their towels to put on our faces.

Hygiene is not a plus point here. But that was nothing yet. The first minute, they lathered their hands and cleanse our face. Rinsed off. Then they scrubbed our face very quickly. Possibly one minute. Rinsed off. Then they applied something clear which they claimed is their magical mask. It was still wet when they said "Ok, all finished!"

Of course I was confused. I stayed there for a while since it has been a total of 6 minutes for the whole treatment! Can this be real? Then the lady came into the room again and said it was done. I stood up and told my husband that she said it was done. He said it couldn’t be since his face was still wet. I said that was what she said.

Confused, I stepped out & asked the front desk. She was like no.no.no... I said "oh, ok, for a while there I thought that was it."

Then she came into our room. Now I realised that she just didn't want me to say it in front of her other clients at the front/waiting area.

She came in & explained that the mask is a special mask. She took a mirror and said it would be an instant change. I looked at myself in the mirror & shook my head. What was I supposed to look for?

Anyway she said it was an option to keep it for 10 min and they can wash it off for us or we could leave it on for at least 3 hours. The longer the better she said.

"So the whole treatment is done?" She said, people who had tried this magical mask would come back themselves to get a package. So no selling required.

Alright ...  but I was still confused. At that time, I have to admit that  I didn’t know how to react to that situation. We just left.

In the car, we were like "What has just happened here?"

We talked it through. When we walked in, they must have scanned us & realised we are no one to be doing hard selling since we are pros at that! Haha. So when they took our ID, they knew that they couldn’t sell us anything. So they didn't bother to give us the forms since they know we will not be a client.

They then decided not to give a complimentary treatment and just gave us a cleansing of our faces since they are not getting anything out of it. Instead of a 2 hours session as promised, they withdrew their offer & only gave us a 6 minute treatment.

But is it fair?  I have re arranged my schedule to make this appointment happen. We drove all the way to drop our kids for babysitting and another hour to drive them back... we changed our plans for this. And the whole thing took 6 min? We didn't get the treatment we were supposed to get.

They wasted our time, our car fuel, our parking fee, our effort in re arranging our schedule, driving up to the north just to drop our kids off, only to fetch them soon after.... they have wasted a lot of our time & energy which we could have used to play with the kids and do something for them.

If their plan was to create awareness, they have failed miserably. They probably didn't realise who we are and the crowd we are hanging out with. Through our network, they could have at least gotten 60 clients easily if we have favoured them positively. And these clients wouldn’t even mind spending $5000 on their faces. I know I'm the only weird one out, but the people I hang out with are into all these.

But this centre chose to decide to waste our time. Indeed they will get awareness. We will of course tell our network what we have experienced.

The only awareness they will be getting is avoidance. At all cost. In future, even for free, no one would want to step into their arena. Their ruthless marketing campaign has been thoughtless & inconsiderate.

I wrote a text message back to that same number that gave me too many reminders. Telling them that it was a shame that they chose a wrong way to market their services. I'm working in an advertising & marketing industry, I can assure them that whatever scam they are trying to pull, will not work.

Since that text message, I have been receiving 28 missed calls from the centre. I do not want an explanation, another offer or anything from them. It’s done and over it.

Address: 1 oxley rise

The Brag Wives Club

To be fair to all, I shall not be mentioning the name of the company I’m about to dish on. ;) Let’s imagine we are all sitting around like one of those Alcoholic Group Session and go “Hi my name is XXX and I’m an alcoholic.”

Now I really wonder why this little gathering I went to, didn’t have a sit around session and cut to the chase “Hi my name is XXX. I’m the wife of XYZ & I’m wearing a Prada dress, Gucci handbag, Victoria secret G-string & Push up bra, Chanel cosmetic, my fake lashes extension were done in YYIO beauty centre, my hair …..” Zzzzzzzz …. Ooops, sorry… were you not done?…. I must have doze off ….

Honest to god, sometimes the term “full of themselves” is just too humbling when you really meet these people I met! Yes I am also the wife of a partner in that company. But I am more known as the “rebel” as I do not take pride in being the wife of a partner. I rather be ….  Me! ;)

For the many years that my husband works there, I’ve only been to 2 events. Surprised? Mind you, these events are usually in top notch places where they serve caviar & the best delights. Yet, I’m not a big fan of going to his company functions. Husbands tend to fall into the tendency of discussing about work. Which leaves the wives checking out each other and making sure that the others know that they are better than the rest.

It’s crazy. I am a simple person. Well, I was even known as a tomboy once upon a time but I’m a mommy now so I’ve walked through many stages of my life to tone down by a fair bit. I am also a successful career woman & a business mogul. I worked through the hours & juggling taking care of my kids all in one plate. I can’t judge for myself if I’m doing a great job but I am successful even before my husband stumbled into my life.

My bank account makes financial officers call me every week to convince me to invest in them. I am financially strong and have been independent since the day I started working. I’ve studied, worked & arrived to where I am independently & I take pride in that since there was a whole lot of hard work involved.

I am so independent that I’m always known to many as being feminist. I really think I am anyway. I insisted on paying half the wedding cost, I contribute half the household expenditure and even help my husband in some of his businesses. So I am not one who suddenly finds herself financially strong & suddenly think she is a different person.

I am not trying to be super annoying (even though I'm starting to sound like that). I'm just trying to point out that maybe...just maybe.... not EVERY partners' wives want to be the damsel in distress only to be rescued by the white & shining armour. And after being rescued, the princess thinks she has to be someone else because now she is suddenly rich!

Due to the fact that I’ve always worked hard in everything I do, juggling too many things at any given time in my life including charity work, I have never been a religious manicure, pedicure or hair salon enthusiast. Somehow a lot of people find that hard to believe. I remembered in one of those dinners I went & I could see the way these wives were checking out my nails, my toes & my hair. They were not disgusting, mind you…  they were just not coloured or polished up to their standards.

I guess I do not fall into the right mould of a perfect partner’s wife. Before I went on dishing, I am in no way attacking anyone. I’m just voicing out my upsets.

Get it – one of them leaned over , tapped my arm & said “Honey, you’ve worked way too hard I see. Maybe you should take some time off to pamper yourself. You need it.”

Ghees, thanks! At this point, I am the only one in there who hasn’t touched botox, collagen injections or resort to plastic surgery. I am also only 37. Yes, I’m not all taut but I have time before I consider these options. Or so I thought. These ladies would point out the lines on my forehead! Literally! They are so narrow minded that they think they are doing me a favour.

Most of these ladies led a fairly normal life before they met their husbands. When they got married, their lifestyles changed dramatically. It must have been too overwhelming for them. They suddenly think they needed to be someone else. I have to say that they are probably a very nice person before. But the exposure of too many good things led them to be too competitive about things which doesn’t necessarily is important to others.

They are nicknamed trophy ladies. They do not work. Neither are they housewives. They have their maids taking care of the chores at home & taking care of their kids. They spend their days in hair salons, nail studios, aesthetic clinics. And if they are not doing that, they are off from one champagne brunch to another.

Compare that to my daily routine! And they wondered why I don’t have time to run to the beauty centres? To top that off, I also do not enjoy having conversations about which hair salons or which boutique to buy their $5000 skirt. I somehow got interested to business conversations the boys were having. Yes, I’m weird.

I do know how to have fun. I dress myself in whatever that takes my fancy. I love happy bright colours. Branded clothing usually come in earth or what I termed as “sad colours” so it’s not because I’m a scrooge. I tend to dress myself in whatever attracts my eyes.

Maybe I do not need too much work done on me to look just as good. Well, I want to believe that at least! Haha.

Anyway, it's this kind of moments when the song my children were watching this morning make sense - by BIG BIRD from Sesame Street - I'm happy to be me.

In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF)

IVF. Used to be such a taboo topic to talk about. Although a lot out there are rather open about it these days, some are still not willing to share that part of their struggle.

Giuliana & Bill Rancic openly shared their journey & heartbreaks with us, especially with regards to them trying for a baby. Something so genuine & so honest, make it so pure that everyone of us at home watching them, secretly did a silent prayer to God to bless them somehow with a bundle of joy. They deserve it.

For them, they are  public figure and they chose to share with us their struggles, their lives, their heartbreaks with us. To many others, how they get their baby is completely none of anyone's business.

There are some celebrities too who wouldn't want to share this little secret with the world. Why so? Maybe because women are in general judgemental to others & especially to themselves. Accepting the fact that one is not able to conceive a baby naturally seems to be such a big failure in a woman's dictionary.

I can say this because since I was 15, I was told that I would not be able to conceive a baby. I have been growing up VERY medically dependent to a point that the doctor has suggested that my womb & uterus was inhospitable towards any growth of a foetus.

Thank god I wasn't promiscuous or using that as an advantage & go on a "slut" rampage! :) Maybe it wouldn't have happened with just any men but I'd be damn if I had gotten pregnant as a teenager!

I started being active rather late in my life. I was a little ...no, I am still accentric. I always try to live by my nickname for some strange reason. My nick is THE ONE & ONLY.

Growing up in a boarding school in NEW YORK, while kids were starting really young with drugs, sex & cigarettes, I was busy trying to be different.

On average, my schoolmates lose their virginity at the age of 14. And they were proud of it. While they were into makeup, I was into grunge. I was a virgin & I was proud of it.

This is funny about the school in NEW YORK. If there are bullies out there and they said some stuff and you somehow let them see that their words affect you, they'll continue to be in your case throughout your whole school years there.

When I first joined that school (I shall not name the school), I had an Australian accent. You couldn't have imagine the jokes that they tried on me. "Hey missy, you wanna go down UNDER?"

Me on the other hand, is a big feminist. One guy said that on my first day of school, I went straight to him, so close that our nose touched, staring dead serious into his eyes.... "I want to hear you say that one more time & I'll show you what's NOT UNDER here!"

I nudged towards his zipper. Something about the way I said it scared him. I saw him perspire while the rest of his gang were watching us. I turned to each and every one of the gang, giving them the coldest laser stare, showing them who is the boss from now on & these boys (They were the most popular in school) had never attempted to ever try to say anything about me.

That was how I started in school. And since then, nobody dared to even spread a rumour about me.

While the whole school was busy losing their virginity, I wasn't keeping my virginity a secret. I wasn't announcing it either but I wasn't shy to admit that I was if it was in the conversation. I know it was tempting for them to start a lesbian rumour but no one ever dared, because then they would have to deal with me.

I have to say I was lucky. So, me being anal about being different, somehow worked for the better of me. Just to be DIFFERENT, I ended up being a virgin with the best grades, never touched a cigarettes or drugs EVER! Now I have to say - that's rare even for today!

Also, not having parents growing up, I know I have no one to clean up my own mess (if I messed up my life that is). So I was adamant to do my best academically so that I will be successful in life & not be so hopeless in this world.

Would my kids be that strong? I doubt it. I have to say that it takes a lot of guts.

I was also not very interested in men. Maybe because I was afraid that if I do have a relationship, I would have stand down my guard & my feminist side got the better of me.

Once I graduated with degree & double honours, I was thrown into the working world. I got together with my childhood best friend with whom I've "tested the water" ;)

Throughout the whole time, I have never liked taking pills as contraception. We were just using condoms. Not that I was worried about being pregnant but more for sexually transmitted disease. We were both faithful but we were also super cautious. To date I have to say I have never seen any other men so cautious about everything in his life. Needless to say, I've never gotten pregnant.

Then I met my husband. I have warned him that I would not be able to conceive. I went as far as to talk to his mom, telling her not to be hopeful about any grandchildren from us. Both my husband and my mother in law didn't think that would be such an issue. So we got married.

Just over three months of being married, I suddenly had rashes. It started with my hand, then it was on my chest. I thought it was heat rash and didn't think much of it. But it became all bubbly and disgusting that I started to get very worried.

I have to meet clients very often and having long sleeves with turtle neck do make everyone wonder especially when it's 35 degrees out here! When the itch became really bad, I finally decided to see a doctor!

When the doctor checked, she asked if I had changed anything lately. Different moisturiser? Different food intake? Different milk? Anything at all. I haven't changed anything.

She wrote me a paper and told me to go to THOMSON MEDICAL CENTRE. It was a Saturday & clinics closes at 12:30 pm. It was 12:30 at that time but she said Caroline is a friend of hers and she would be waiting for me there. It was a favour which I truly appreciate.

We went there & having being told you could not conceive since you are 15, it's normal that one would protect herself by not being too exposed to anything baby related. I have no clue that THOMSON MEDICAL CENTRE is a place for pregnancy, delivery,  fertility, etc. Completely clueless. We did wonder if it was a baby boom since there were pregnant ladies everywhere. Still at that point, we didn't have it figured out that it's not a general hospital, it's a WOMAN's hospital.

Caroline told me to lie down. She asked a few questions. Honestly we were afraid she was going to tell us it was cancer or something. So ya, babies honestly were not in our minds.

She put some gel on my tummy, scanning through my tummy then a smile spread on her face. She looked at my husband, and then me & then she pointed out a little jellybean shaped thing.

"Is it tumour?!" I asked, somehow not noticing she was smiling.

"No," she laughed. "Congratulations. That's your little baby."

Complete silence for a while. I think I was waiting for her to say "Just kidding!"

But she didn't. I looked at my husband who looked completely confused too. Then I became angry all of a sudden. Imagine this - someone who loves kids and wished she could have her own was told all her life that she couldn't have any. And now a doctor she met for the very first time, smiled and said there you are! You are pregnant.

For some weird reason, I got pretty upset and questioned her if she thought that was a funny joke because it wasn't funny at all. And then I kept repeating "No, this is not true."

Seeing this, the doctor became confused (poor doctor…I’ve apologised) and thought I didn't want the baby. She apologised graciously. And then my husband quickly jumped in and explained my medical history. Then she looked at me like she wanted to give me a hug but decided to be professional. "This is a miracle baby."

My husband then smiled and said "My wife was born triplets. You found only one in here?" And with that, the quiet clinic was filled with laughter and happiness!

Immediately after that ‘diagnosis’ , my world seemed to be bigger. I started noticing a lot of things. I am allowing myself to indulge in cute babies. I love them but I was afraid I would yearn for them, so usually I kept a distance. Not anymore. That barrier has been broken. I wanted to tell the whole world but at the same time I know I should be in touch with my own doctor - the one who told me I would not be able to conceive.

I have to explain that this doctor of mine is a realist. Sometimes too much of a realist that emotion doesn’t come into play. When I told him I was pregnant, his reaction was somewhat disappointing. I thought he would be like “Wow!! It’s a miracle!!”

But no, he just read through the report from Caroline and he looked up, casually said congratulations and warned me that I should be realistic about my situation. He said that there has been no pregnancy for people with similar medical history as mine. So he would not want to get excited as yet since I could lose the baby any time. He said that I should not prepare anything as yet, not even a name because I could lose this baby tomorrow, in a few weeks, in a few months or as a stillborn.

Yes, it did sound like he’s a prick but mind you, he was just being realistic and didn’t want me to float so high that I might crash harder when I hit the ground. He was sort of “taking care” that I don’t go overboard with this new “situation”. Unfortunately, when he left, I became so down & was so sure that this baby will not survive.

Why? Have you read my history? Everything bad has already happened to me? What is one more thing right??!!!  It seems that I have been tested time and again and I felt that this would be the ultimate test of all.  I cried into my husband’s arm but as usual he has it all figured it out. He held me tight & went “This is our year. Let’s not dwell on this until something REALLY happens. For now, we do not do anything or even think about it unless necessary. Focus on yourself.”

And that was exactly what we did. I wasn’t sure if me being determined to not think too much about it (or if it was a coincidence) led to this pregnancy going by without any pregnancy symptoms at all. We didn’t tell anyone about our exciting news so that no one can ask about it when we were not supposed to even talk about it. It was like a little (but BIG) secret between my husband and I.

When I went partying, I ordered virgin Pina Colada. No one knew there weren’t any alcohol in my drink.  I continued working hard. And at one point of time I was even working till 4 am for a month trying to rush for a dateline. And I was 9 months pregnant at that time. I wasn’t showing till at least the end of my 6^th months.

Everyone thought I was gaining weight. We managed to keep it a secret till it was the 7^th month. Some people knew but we didn’t announce it. I was also traveling a whole lot for our jobs!

Suddenly it was time to give birth. Caroline has nothing negative to say about the pregnancy at all. The whole 38 weeks, the baby has grown at a beautiful rate.  25^th September 2009 – we went into the delivery room without having many things ready to welcome a new born.

During the delivery, it was an experience we had never bargained for. When our baby’s heart stopped during labour, I somehow had it in my head that that was “IT”. That was “THE MOMENT” my private doctor had warned me about. And that was when I would lose her. I closed my eyes & noted that situation. And somehow I must have ACCEPTED the fact that I could lose her. I opened my eyes and looked my husband who looked a little lost too.

Everything seemed to go in slow motion. The doctor was doing her best to resuscitate that tiny little heart inside my tummy. The nurses were scanning my tummy. There were about 5 people dealing and rushing with our situation. And then ….. “Beep…..Beep….beep” The monitor went again. Almost as sudden as when it stopped.

Everyone cheered. I was happy. Confused but happy. Very happy. Inside me I was a little angry since I was sad for no reason. We continued pushing. Caroline mentioned that we cannot let it happen one more time or we would really lose her. I have to push harder and get her out because the baby was tired. And her heartbeat was very weak. She said if her heartbeat stops again, they would have to cut me open and take the body out as it could be harmful for me if the blood from the umbilical cord runs back into my veins.

I went all out to get her out. But it didn’t happen. And then suddenly … her heartbeat stopped a second time. My eyes welled up. I knew what that means. Immediately, the nurses and the doctor scrubbed in and started to put on their surgery attires. I looked at my husband “Don’t let them cut me open.”

I was suddenly scared!  I know cutting me open means we were gonna see the “body” and it would all be confirmed. I didn’t want a confirmation.Let me stay at that status quo. I wanted time to stop. I was shaking so bad. In sadness. In anger. In loss. In Confusion. In defeat.

As they were preparing the surgery utensils, my husband (bless his soul) went to my tummy and started talking to your daughter. He said that he knew it wasn’t the end and that she could pull through this. He said that she should fight it through since her ‘special mummy’ has been there for her, fighting all odds to get her to this point. She should reciprocate that strength. I kid you not - Suddenly the monitor started beeping again!  I was like “What the hell??!!! This is a joke!!!” And the doctor went straight to my bottom again and told me to push immediately. I was like “huh? What?” Ok, I’m confused but let’s just do what she told me to do….

One, two and….. her head came out. Her eyes were wide open, looking around between my legs. I didn’t see all these. My husband told me about it. My husband came to me and said, “Her head is out … she’s beautiful.”

I did a few more push and just as sudden, she was placed on my chest. All covered in wax and all. All puffed up. Quite disgusting really. But she was my disgusting thing. :) My husband was videotaping the birth from the top. Not allowed down below. He was still taping my reaction and I had to turn to him and told him to switch it off.

How would she feel one day when she watches it & realise that I was numb when they put her on my chest. I didn’t react. I was feeling-less. I just looked at her, not even attempting to hold her. But will she understand then that a few minutes before our eyes met, her heartbeat stopped and I had lost her. That sense of acceptance was my way of dealing with it all. And I can’t even explain how it felt when you accepted and situation and suddenly the thing that you had just lost is blinking right in front of you!! I didn’t not react because I didn’t love her . I love her dearly, with all my heart.  I didn’t react because I love her too much & having lost her that last few minutes handicapped my emotions completely.

The nurses took her off me to weigh her, clean her and do a little test. My husband didn’t lose her in sight. He was with her making sure that she didn’t go anywhere.

Caroline came to me and said “it’s ok to open up to her again … she’s here now.”

And that made me realised that it’s all real now. She passed all the test and she is perfectly healthy. 

“What’s her name?” One nurse asked. I smiled & told them we haven’t got any. But I can tell them in one hour.

Once we were in our room, I was back on my lap top googling “MIRACLE” ….  There were a few names that came up. We chose one.

Her first name means MIRACLE. Her second name means THE BEST. She is simply the best miracle that has happened to me. Against all odds, even towards the end, she fought through and made it into this beautiful world. And I will do everything I can, and hopefully not smouldering her too  much, to make her life a very special one.

My husband did well in getting all the necessary things required for a new born. He has been wonderful in supporting this whole ordeal. I love him even more for what I saw he did for all of us.

He also know that to have our daughter is the greatest gift of all. So much so that he doesn’t want to be left out in being involved in bringing her up. He insisted to do the night shift. God bless him.

Have we ever considered IVF? Or adoption? Or surrogate mother? Yes we have. In fact, I had papers in my office which I was supposed to fill up that same week that I found out that I was pregnant. How ironic is that?

How lucky was I?  To get through the whole pregnancy without the slightest bit of symptoms… not even a craving! I’m still not sure if it was because I was avoiding thinking about it altogether. Or if it was all meant to be.

My private doctor came to congratulate me especially the fact that I was the first ever to have been pregnant & safely gave birth to a healthy beautiful baby. He also said that I should treasure my time with her since she would be the only baby I would ever conceive, since she is already a miracle!

Well, this is something to think about. I was predicted to have lived till I was 9 due to my illness. I am 36 years old today. I celebrate my birthday in a big way every year because for me it’s a big blessing to have another year. Then they said I would not be able to conceive…. My daughter is the best thing which has happened to me…and then guess what? Merely 6 months after my daughter was born, we found out that I was pregnant again.

Again, I didn’t have a clue. I was in Club Med Ixtapa, Mexico having a blast & a whole lot of champagne! I was celebrating life. We were so happy because we managed to travel 32 hours (door to door) to arrive to our destination with a 6 months old.

When I was late, we thought maybe it was due to the stress of arriving to our holiday destination. My sister who has been trying for 10 months for a second child was getting a little down that she still hadn’t conceived. When we told her that I was pregnant, we knew it would all be too confusing for her. “Wait a minute! You were not even be able to conceive & you conceive a second one??!! I don’t have health issues. Why haven’t I conceive?!”

Having said that, she was really happy for us. I gave birth to my second child on January 2011. My son is a healthy cuddly little thing. His name (was again goggled when he was born) means “the way to heaven”. He is indeed my way to heaven. He’s a happy boy who makes me laugh every day!

Yes I am really blessed. I still have a little fear at the back of my head wondering if this is too good to be true. My husband who is always the optimist, said that God is  just rewarding me for passing the insane tests he has passed down to me throughout my whole life (Read my history under the “ME GLORIOUS ME” tab). Maybe he is.

I’m going to embrace this new gifts. We had our life changing moments coming through one after another. It was overwhelming but I’m grateful.

I can completely relate to those who are not able to conceive. I know how it feels. Would I also consider IVF? If I have the money, yes I would.