Brain Of A Blowfish!!

If you have read my blog earlier (Miss Understood), then this is the continuation ... ;)

Recently, my husband decided to go on a fishing trip. I told him that maybe we should his mom with us. Yeah, she's not necessarily useful with the kids. In fact, I do feel like I have 3 kids instead of 2 when she is around but hey, she's 67 & she is slowing down.

My mother in law in general is a sweet person who sees the good in person. She could be dining at a restaurant & the waitress have a little conversation with her about the flies & she would come back telling me that the waitress was ..."Ever so lovely.." Yes, her favourite sentence. Yup, she was English. She came to Australia when she was 18. And has been living there & contributed to the economy so much (especially while bringing up the kids) that now she has Australian citizenship.

Anyway, in general, my mother in law (MIL in abbreviation from now on) is a lovely person. She loves my kids but she is also not young anymore & doesn't have the energy to go running after my 2 year old & my hyper one year old. As much as she is not much help, I always suggest having her around, more so that the kids get to have her around & get to know her more.

However, whenever my MIL gets me alone (when my husband is not around), she likes to have deep conversation. I usually wait till the kids are asleep for me to sit down in front of her before she huffs and puffs and waited for me to ask what's wrong. She is so predictable! Haha

Anyway, here's the gist of our conversation so you get where I'm heading...

MIL :  Don't you want us to come to your place for Xmas?

"Us" here refers to herself, her second son, his wife & their two children.

Me:  You are coming to our place this Xmas? Oh?

MIL : Mark (Yes, that's my brother in law) said he read your post on facebook something about you saying you are thinking of going to Vanuatu for Xmas. He said why would you plan to go somewhere else when u know we are thinking of coming.

Me: I know?? I know that you guys are THINKING of coming?? Am i telepathic or I could read minds.... which one of you have come forward to tell me you guys are coming?

MIL was quiet for a while. She gave me a shrug and said : I thought i mentioned it to u.

ME: No u didn't. Neither did anyone else. You said you won't be in home for Xmas. You didn't say where you were gonna be & I usually do not ask until you are definite about your plans.

MIL : Oh

Me : Yes. Oh. How would I know if no one says anything? And how can anyone make plans to go to someone's place for XMAS!! Without even discussing with the host if it's ok??! Just because they are family doesn't mean they do not need to ask. And I'm sorry but my life doesn't revolves around facebook. If I write anything at all, it's nothing intimate or private it's just thinking aloud.And for goodness sake!!if someone THOUGHT of coming to MY place, dont u think SOMEONE should inform me???!?!!

MIL: Hmm, sorry i thought i did.

ME: Why is it your job to tell me anyway??? They cant tell me?

MIL: I thought he would. I could be wrong. I could already feel the tension while he was here.

She was referring to the 3 days we were at her place before we flew to Exmouth. Mark heard that we would be there & decided to hang around. Which is not a problem for us.  Here's the thing:  I made an effort because I love my husband so much. Wherever Mark went, I followed like a dog, to have a proper conversation. But he chose to ignore me like I'm a STRAY dog!

My husband thought I was exaggerating so to prove a point I sat net to my husband when he was sitting there talking to Mark. I asked how the kids were & Mark completely ignored me, as if I wasn't even there. My husband noticed this and decided to ask the same question & Mark answered immediately.

That was when my husband realised that this is getting too child's play. But he didn't say anything to Mark at that point of time because we brought some guests with us to Australia & family intervention shouldn't be done in front of others.

Me: Really? What is your poor little son upset about now?

MIL : He is upset that that was the first time he met your son  & you didn't properly introduce your son to his uncle!

ME: What was I supposed to do, have a red carpet and have someone kind of ritual to officially introduce them? Goodness he doesn't even wish my son on his first birthday or send gifts when I send their kids without fail.... and I'm the bad one?? I even walked up to him with my son in my hand saying 'Say hi to your Uncle'... Come on now.... you as a mother, pls tell me if this act is logical at all? Doesn't it look very much like he is finding reasons to hate me more.

Honestly, that excuse was really lame. I made an effort to ask my son to say hi. My husband didn't even try & how come he wasn't in trouble? What in the world were they thinking? Did they think I somehow need to suck up to them?? !  I don't do suck up & never will. They need to get used to it & move on

MIL: Maybe its motivated by his wife? I dunno.

She muttered quietly almost like she didn't really want me to hear it. I sighed heavily. Completely exhausted by this family drama.

ME:  Tell them that I have 2 million REAL issues in my life that needs more attention. I don't have time to deal with petty little hearts. It's not my issue if they don't understand me. Honestly, I've tried & tried...out of love for your son. But this is enough.

What were they thinking? That they could walk into my home without any notice or planning? That my home is open house to them anytime? And even so, don't they think that to stay under my roof, they probably need to stop pissing me off?? I mean how awkward is that? To have them at my home when they hate my guts? Honestly! Why even bother?

Sometimes .... people just have a brain of a blowfish!

ADEVA Spa - Paragon Singapore

Last evening, after we put the kids to sleep, my husband & I went for our “escapade”. Well sort of. A week ago, I found a voucher we bought 2 years ago! I called them up & asked if it’s still valid & they said yes. So we quickly booked ourselves in & last night was THE NIGHT. Our schedules are tight so the best time we could have it was at 8:30 p.m.

The voucher came with a choice of 5 kinds of massage & 3 kinds of facial. I was looking at the prices. The facial got me curious since they were costing more than the massages. Why would a facial cost almost $600? Maybe I never tried the high end facial. I don’t know. Since it’s a voucher & we get to choose anything, I chose for one which is called Crystal Peel. Supposed to exfoliate & rejuvenate your skin.  Interesting. Anyway, it has a flyer attached to it which said “Complimentary Jacuzzi Spa”

At 7:50 p.m., ADEVA spa called. “Ma’am are you going to use the spa? If you are, you may need to come in at 7:45p.m”

“Well, it’s 7:50 p.m. now”

“You have to come in 7:45 or 8 p.m.”

“Hmmm, wait…If I want to use the spa, I have to be there in 10 min. And you are telling me now?” I don’t really care about the Jacuzzi but since she was being ridiculous I thought I should too.

“My girls supposed to tell you but they didn’t but you are supposed to be here at 8 if you want to use the spa”

These people love to push people around like we owe them diamonds.

“You know what? Yes I would like to use the spa. I will be there at 8:30 p.m.”

That got her tongue tied before she muttered “Ok.”

I forgot to mention that they also called me at 3 p.m. telling me that one of their therapist is on medical leave & if I could come at 6:30 p.m. instead? “No, I can’t possibly do such thing. We are both working people & after that, we still need to deal with our kids before we can head there & yes, with kids we can’t just change our plans impromptu so we will still be there at 8:30 p.m.”

“Ok” she said. I wonder what was that call about? They were hoping to close early? It was too no brainer for me. I don’t think it’s my problem who is having medical leave. I’m sure they should have back up.

ANYWAY, my husband chose the massage instead of the facial. We arrived there at 8:20 p.m. As usual, there was a form we were supposed to fill up & declare we are not at any health risk. Then we were separated. I really thought it was a couple thing!!! The lobby was beautiful & it coughed out luxury & high end in one go. The front desk people were gentle & welcoming. One could even be the person I spoke to & probably hated my guts but she was all smile when I came in. Anyway, I was led to the Jacuzzi room .

Seeing the lobby, my expectation soared high. Then I was led to a room where there was a square box(the Jacuzzi) and next to it was a line of mirrors similar to those you see backstage of a fashion show-you know the kinds where models were getting ready. There were 2 ladies there in their handbags but in ADEVA uniform. She saw my therapist (do you call them that? ) & muttered “I’m going home”

My therapist said “You can’t there’s one more customer”

Hello??!! I’m just right there in front of you!

“No, I’m going to miss the bus, then who’s gonna pay for that? I’m not staying! I didn’t agree to an overtime! I already spoken to my supervisor and she said I can go!”

“But how are we going to do this?”

“Nobody informed me earlier, I made plans. Sorry. I am going home.”

Mind you while all these were happening  I was right there. They were talking as if I wasn’t there. So of course I could see their disgruntled face & kindda felt like I wasn’t supposed to be there. With their handbags still on their shoulders, they grumpily stood there. Not once making eye contact with me. I ws led to change. I swear I was almost scared to leave the changing room. I came out and my therapist smiled (as if to make up for it)  and ushered me to the Jacuzzi. I was still waiting for some magic to happen. But she just helped me take off my off & told me to relax.  That’s was it?

The temperature of the water was hot. So I mentioned to my therapist that it was hot. The upset lady grumbled in their local language “That’s how Jacuzzi is supposed to be!!”

At this point, I could barked back, “Yes I have one at home & I know it’s not supposed to be this hot!!”

I thought I shouldn’t be bitchy at this initial stage. So I kept quiet. Still hoping for some magical soothing thing to happen. But the ladies left. The room was brightly lit. And I was like “Hmmm, now what??!!”

I just sat there for a while. Not very comfortable. Not long after that, one staff who apparently was going to go home, came by & used one of the mirror to groom herself. And there I was in my disposable bra & undies sitting uncomfortably in the Jacuzzi. She tried not to look at the Jacuzzi. Maybe because her working hours was over & therefore she didn’t need to be nice to patrons. 

2 minutes after that, a lady who has 6 inch make up caked on her face smiled & asked how long I wanna be in there. I was like …”I don’t know…. You know what, I just got it but I’m not enjoying myself, I’ll just come out now”

I was led to the shower area, which is right in front of the Jacuzzi…. Honestly… I expected more of it. Maybe petals in that Jacuzzi or some hydrating bath salt…I don’t know. Something different. If it’s just a Jacuzzi, I’m not crazy about that. I don’t even use the Jacuzzi I have at home! The room was brightly lit up. There was no privacy whatsoever. And in the shower where you thought being in the spa they would provide nice shampoo & bath gel. No, they actually smell horrible! Thank god I testing them on my palm before splashing it all over my body.

I was led out & after putting the robe & the tube, I was led to the facial room. And guess what? I had to walk pass the lobby in my robe & tube , to go into the facial room. Nice!  I sheepishly avoided all eyes of everyone at the lobby & entered the room.

Apart from the room being freezing cold (mind you, it could be because I just got out of a 50 degrees Celsius hot tub!), the room looked decent. The music was nice and soothing. The therapist came & started her process. She asked if I have ever done Crystal Peel.  When I told her I did Diamond Peel instead, she said that Crystal Peel is not as dehydrating as Diamond Peel. She said she will do half my face so that I can see the difference.

She started with the usual cleansing of the face followed my the Crystal Peel. Did half & showed me the difference. I stared at it long and hard & was pondering if I should just say yes since she is such a nice girl or be honest about it. Then I was like “Heck this is supposed to be a $600 treatment. Of course I’m going to tell her the truth.”

She tried to point out to me some differences but I REALLY didn’t see it. I apologised to her for not seeing it but REALLY I don’t!  “Maybe my skin is just bad” I tried to console her. What the hell am I doing consoling her?!

She did the other half & afterwards showed me my dead skin in the bottle that collected it…It was nothing spectacular. It wasn’t much at all. I kept my opinion to myself. But smiled nodded politely.  Following that, she did a little  bit of extraction around my nose area. She said usually it doesn’t include nose extraction but since she can see some, she thought she might as well. What bothers me was that, she didn’t steam my face before doing the extraction. My pores were not open for her extraction.

She then said she will shape my eyebrows. Oh ok …. Guess she needed to kill time. After that … yes, that was probably the time I started to appreciate this whole process…. She did the shoulder face, neck & shoulder massage…. Oh goodness me! I’ve never had massage that good for the longest time. She said I have lots of knots which signifies that I was stressed out. She cleared all the knots & I felt so light after that…. It was REALLY sooooooooooo relaxing!! I love it!!!

Then the massage was over(Sob! Sob! Sob!) She put on a strawberry mask for 15 min. Washed it up afterwards & my treatment was done. She placed a mirror in front of me & pointed out that now my skin has rejuvenated & the skin seems firmer. I wanted to break down & cry because she was such a nice person but no, I don’t see any difference at all …. I just politely muttered “Wow.” Well, that could mean anything right?

What bothered me a little bit – the clinking & clanking of the pots or plates that she was cleaning after applying something on me…. Couldn’t all that wait till she was done with me & do all the washing AFTER my treatment?  The relaxing music was drowned by the gushing of the tap & the sound of the washing up.

The other thing which was a bit of a bother is that, the room is such that when the door is ajar, you can me laying there with a mask on my face. Maybe it’s a little anal but I don’t like to be seen in my most vulnerable state. And I guess she was trying to reduce the noise of the door (Yes they creaked), so when she left the room, (to do more washing or to fetch an item or two) she left the door ajar so I can hear whatever was going on at the corridor & the hard selling at the lobby!  What happened to serenity?

Once I was done. I sat at the lobby waiting for my husband whose session was 90 min (while mine was 75 min). The whole process didn’t really need 75 min even. The mask could have been put on while she did the shoulder massaged, the eyebrow shaping wasn’t necessary, the extraction was just filling up time…. But anyway …

The air con duct was right above me so I was freezing. I quickly drank the hot ginger tea (which was yummy) & burnt my tongue in the process.

Soon enough, my husband came out & muttered the lady who massaged him was rather old but she was strong as an ox. He probably preferred a younger lady;) Cheeky bastard! Then he said, “My masseuse told me that I am fat, pat me on my tummy & told me to exercise! Nice!”

Ghees, if she said that to my husband who recently has a little extra around the waist, what would she say to really fat people?

The front desk lady approached us. She sat down, smiled & asked how it was. There! I blurted out everything …  I told her my whole experience. I told her that had there not been any complimentary Jacuzzi Spa I would have thought that it wasn’t such a bad place after all. But the episode at the Jacuzzi was my first impression & I was completely turned off after that. The arguing of the staff shouldn’t be done in front of any patron. And it shouldn’t be called a Jacuzzi spa as if it was a wonderful thing since there wasn’t any spa experience in there. It was just a square box with no relaxing ambience whatsoever. I don’t call the Jacuzzi at home, Jacuzzi spa! Ok, I’m being a bit bitchy here! Sorry ….

And my husband was telling her how chatty the masseuse was when it was supposed to be a relaxing massage for him. The lady got that I didn’t enjoy my experience. She closed her book of glory (The one they use to hard sell) & apologised politely. It was clear that no hard sell would convince this bitch about how good they are. So there….  She politely said she hopes to see us there again & gave us a flyer with the rest of the treatments they have in there. 

On the way back, my husband & I was talking about the whole ordeal again… hilarious that we thought it was gonna be magical & serene & that we could relax being away from our kids…. He hugged me in the cab & said “See, it’s still magical & serene. Guess u need me, not the treatment”  And we both blurted out laughing!

Long Lost Stranger

Yesterday for lunch, I have decided to catch up with someone I met only twice in my lifetime. I met the couple at a mutual friend's wedding. And the afterwards at a party.

We never really caught up again. I guess we tried but our schedule collided. Or I am away for business trips or on holiday!

Anyway, I recently saw the husband on Whatsapp (an application on the iphone that allows you to send messages for free wherever you are in the world.) I said hi & he told me that they just had their 3rd baby!!!

Goodness me!When we got to know each other, their second child was 2 months old and I only have my daughter. No son yet. I was a clueless mommy!

Time do flies. Seriously! I mean she was shocked to hear I also have a son now! No wonder she was just asking about my daughter.

Anyway, the fact that we met only twice didn't make the catch up too surfaced. In fact, it has been a while since I had such deep conversation with someone. This lady has a 2 months old in tow. She is breastfeeding as she talked. And yet she was composed. She has 3 boys. 6, 3and the last one which was hoped was gonna be a girl, turned out to be another boy. She said she is done.

I mean I have one son & it took a toll on me. My daughter seems easier to take care of, I feel. I guess she will make up for it when she is a teenager.

Anyway, she told me how they didn't plan the third baby. It was an accident and her husband was clear that he didn't want the baby (I told you that the conversation was deep & very personal in fact).

The dilemma as a mother she had, being torn between abiding to her husband's wishes & to kill a life that was growing inside her. She did book an appointment to terminate the pregnancy but she couldn't go through with it. She cried when she left the clinic & called her husband.  " I know you don't want to ever talk about this baby & I have tried to get rid of this child but I'm sorry I can't."

Her husband was in shocked, not once he thought she would go that far to even book an appointment!!! He said he is fine with it. He just needed time to get used to the idea and find ways to try to keep them financially able. Ghees.... the miscommunication could have cost a life! That was really scary!

I didn't think you would open up about all that to someone you met only twice but somehow she did & because she did, it was easier to relate to her. She was open, honest & funny. She also has a big appetite. :)

I'm glad she had the baby. He is just so adorable.

We talked about children's school (how typical of mommies, I know). We talked about how her life changed with the latest addition. She got to know more about me. And it was nice..... it felt like there is a potential of us being really close.

At the end of lunch, she asked if I wanna come by her place on Friday. Wow! Twice in a week. I said ok. I wasn't sure because I have lunch date with Greg (Ya it was postponed till next this coming Friday). My husband said I probably can drop by her place after having lunch with Greg. Well, I have to see how my work load is at the office.

Nevertheless, it was really fun. I might just go... let's see!

Groupon!

Have you heard of Groupon? I'm sure it's viral everywhere in the world right now. It's a internet version of having a coupon where shops slash their prices to woo you into their shops, have their services & then try to sell you a package costing $2000 or something! ;)
Ruthlessly speaking, they basically corner you inside their den & try to make you sign a contract with them :)

Anyway, my bestfriend is addicted to Groupon. She can afford anything she wants & yet she loves the fact that she can do more with the same amount of money through Groupon. I guess it's a clever way to stretch money.

Recently, we bought brazilian IPL for $158 Singapore Dollars. It says UNLIMITED BRAZILIAN IPL FOR 2 YEARS. Then when you read the fine lines properly, you are allowed to go once a month for 6 months and for the subsequent months, you can only go once every 2 months. In general, if you wanna pay this price, be prepared to delay your success for at least 2 years.

Buying the Groupon ticket is easy. They look too good to be true. It even said it's painless. NOT!!! To get an appointment was one thing.

"Oh are you using Groupon?? Right. We are full on weekends and we are full until May !"

Wow! Shouldn't you put that in your ad as well? Once we got there, they were fine, didn't think there was an issue with IPL...u know the usual routine...are you pregnant? Do you have any allergies? Bla bla bla

Then came the part whereby they really one to make sure you are a first time customer, so they need your ID. In Singapore, as strange as it sounds, it has our race stated on it.

Yes, your ethnicity. Which is kindda weird since most Singaporeans are no longer a pure race. Me for instance, my mother is part French & Arab (Don't ask me how that happened). And my father is part Chinese & part Indian.

However, the rule in Singapore is such that your race is what your father is. So even though my dad's mom was Chinese, his dad was Indian - that made him Indian. And since my dad has INDIAN in his ID, even though I look nothing like one, my race card has to follow my dad's. Therefore I am INDIAN. Mind you there is nothing wrong being either race. It's that it's extremely misleading.

I never bothered to explain to others about my mixed ROYAL blood cocktail. Haha... I usually just say I'm Indian. 

For instance, during this first time session, the ladies at this place didn't have any issue with me until she saw my race. She then said " We are not sure if we can do your sessions because Indians usually have dark skin and it may burn their skin."

Sadly, this reflects her ignorance. There are Indians who are fairer than my mozarella cheese husband!!

I kid you not. That was what they said. So I blatantly asked "So you are saying you do not do Indian pussy??  Coz you can see that I am not dark or do you think my pussy has a different colour? "

That caught them off guard. They became very uncomfortable because I was stating the obvious & NOBODY is supposed to state the obvious here!  I asked how come she didn't have any issue about my skin when I was here for that 15 minutes before she saw my ID. She obviously can see that I'm not dark that the machine would burn me like she claimed.

The ladies spoke in Chinese for a bit. The other one was saying that she shouldn't have said it that way. It sounded rude. I replied back in English (Yes, I speak Chinese as well...among 6 other languages I speak) that I understood her clearly and if she has a problem with it she can tell me.

They became awkward after that. They know that I could easily pull out the racial card here. The other one was trying to explain to me but she knows that I understood what she was saying in Chinese.

They were suddenly nice to me. They somehow know I have the higher power to do something about this.... (I didn't by the way...it's not important enough to waste my time on)

Oh.... one more thing. Why do they call it BRAZILIAN IPL?? When it's not really Brazilian!  While doing it, they said that they do not do the lips (I'm not talking about the one on our face)!  And I'm like, "you mean I still have to wax that part for the rest  of my life?"

She just shrugged her shoulders.

So, that again is misleading advertising I felt. The experience: Well, well, I won't say it's painless. It made me shriek & jump here and there but maybe because I am loud in general :) Then again my bestfriend went in and she was shrieking as well.....

The girl next to me was going in after my bestfriend but she looked a bit worried! Haha.... We did make everyone laugh though! Because we were being very silly.

Anyway, enough about the IPL ... I also bought a Hair Rebonding groupon for $18. Seriously, that's nothing!  But of course, the service you get is also NOTHING!!

I called this Salon. I think it's called MINISTRY OF HAIR. I called them and told them that I just bought the Groupon that they just put up 10 minutes ago.

The woman on the phone went " You bought with Groupon? We don't do weekends and we don't do weekdays evenings. The next available slot is at 2pm on 31 of June!"

I was politely saying, sure I'll take it. "Ok." She said and she slammed the phone. Right....

This Groupon is valid for 6 months and I can only get a slot on the 2nd or 3rd month of purchase usually. Strange. Why wouldn't they put all that on their ad?

Luckily I'm not in such a hurry myself. I wasn't even sure if I even want to rebond my hair but since it's for $18, I will use the time to think.

Whatever. This Groupon thing has grown really big and everyone is trying to be in it and hope to get business with it.

Sadly, some of them who jumped into this fast moving wagon, fail to realise that the way to get business is to prove yourself from the moment when a client calls for your business.You are supposed to welcome people with open arms & make them feel like they want to come back to you. Why else would you bother slashing your prices to rock bottom?? Come on, people!!

My initial experience haven't been good. Which makes me feel this Groupon thing is a bit crass still. It will take a while before the serious upper scale people get into the game. Until then.... we will have to make do with 2nd class treatment for Groupon purchaser.....

Oh well.....

Berserk Girlfriend

I have a very good friend. His name is Greg. I think we have been friends for a while. We always meet up for lunches since we are both in committed relationship/marriage & prefer to spend our evenings with our beloved partners.

I went away for a holiday and since we got back, I haven't got the chance to resume our usual lunch. Yesterday he WHATSAPP me & asked when on earth will I be free again.

We decided to meet up again on Friday.

Anyway, last night I had a nightmare, to a point that I woke up from it because it was just so wrong!

I dreamt that it was a week day and we were supposed to have lunch (as usual). He got a sudden call to go to Hong Kong and coz he was feeling bad,  he said I should come with him to his place, order pizza & we lunch & he packs at the same time.

In that nightmare, I somehow sat on their bed while he was packing & talking. we had so much to catch up on so we were talking non stop. Suddenly his girlfriend came into the room, saw me on the bed, sat back against the head of the bed & she became so mad.

I didn't catch her anger at the first minute. I mean I was fully clothed & seated like someone was talking to someone who is packing! Nothing else. Nothing sinful about that. But I guess the fact that I was on their bed , in their room.

She became so mad. She threw things at him & then she turned at me & started attacking me verbally.

See, Greg has been my friend from the time he was dating my girlfriend. They broke up a year ago. And not long after that, Greg got together with her current girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to meet her. She somehow managed to cancel our meetings or Greg would end up coming on his own coz she was unwell or whatever.

So in total, I met her once in a party where she didn't expect me to be. It was a new year party & she didn't look like she liked me too much. I wonder if Greg has spoken about me. The weirdest thing about that evening was that, between our drunk moment (it was new year after all!!) she tried to hit on my husband.I wasn't sure if she did it on purpose ....no...she must have been aware I was close by.

Nevertheless, at the touch of midnight when everyone gave everyone a kiss(a friendly of course), Greg looked for me after kisisng her. To kiss me as a friend of course. But she didn't look too happy.

That was new year. I haven't met her since. I saw her one time!

So why did she enter into my nightmare? I wasn't even thinking about her! It was strange.

In that nightmare, she became berserk & she started attacking me physically. I had to run for my life.

The whole time I was wondering -she knows that we are just friends right??!! Or is there something I don't know?

I was rudely woken up when I was stabbed in my nightmare. With a sharp candle holder -yup, not so cool! 

I was panting hard ... as if I've been running. I was like"What the hell was that??!!"

I got up & tried sipping a glass of water before going back to sleep hoping that the story doesn't continue.

It didn't. It was just strange. Today is Wednesday. I will see him on Friday for lunch ... no more nightmares please!

Potty Training - Not such a glamourous title is it?

The whole truth about potty training is indeed not glamourous. There are some potties whereby your kid would do his/her business on & then you throw it into the toilet bowl. Something like what Kate Gosselin used for her children.

I didn't wanna have to clean that potty. :( Sorry. I can hear some mothers fuming now. ;) Anyway, I used the toy'R'us little girl/boy toilet, bought steps for them to be able to get up there & be able to do it independently.

It took me a full week. I know some mothers did it in a day. Or 3 days. But ya, I'm not a super mom. I had 7 full days.

While there are many ways to train your kids, I went with slowly letting my daughter see what I do at the toilet. Ok, if you count that, then that's two weeks! I basically explained to her what I am doing & why I do it there. Showed her the routine & end it with the flush ( she somehow enjoys the flushing for some weird reason)

After a week of that, I slowly asked her about the idea of not using diaper. Started with half day of no diaper. She didn't understand controlling her bladder concept. I said "tell me when you wanna pee". And she told me when she was actually peeing!

There I was wiping her puddle golden shower! ;) There hasn't been BIG accident - thank god!

From half a day, she began to like the idea of no diaper. She asked for full day of no diaper. I allowed her to do so. Sometimes, I suggested we go to the toilet for her to pee. She did it & got herself a chocolate. If she doesn't pee, I would tell her that the next time she pees there, she will get one. So one is waiting for her.

Slowly...very slowly, she was grasping the concept of "getting the chocolate" -yup, not really the potty training part! Sometimes, when she remembers she would wailed out, and we would rush her to the toilet, have her pee successfully on the toilet, and she gets her chocolate.

Whenever she forgot about the reward, the accident would happen. Yes, it happened so many times, it's too easy just to give up & just stuck a diaper on her. Especially when I also have a one year old to run after. EXHAUSTION is the key word here. But I didn't give up.

Somehow, the number of times of her running to me announcing (to the world - yes she was that loud) that she wanted to pee slowly became more than the accidents. Eventually, it didn't happen anymore. We (My husband & I) celebrated it -well, maybe we just wanted to open that bottle of champagne so bad!  ;)

Today, she only wears diapers when she is sleeping. Fair enough. I thought since she is not aware yet while she is sleeping, that can be another step.

Another reason to pop the bottle open! ;)

Ethiopian Maid Publicly Abused.

What makes people feel that they have power over the less fortunate??

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2012/mar/15/ethiopian-maid-publicly-abused-suicide-lebanon-video

I mean honestly! I have a maid too & I have to say that compared to my last one, she is quite hopeless. I do get angry at her, I do get pretty frustrated at her - but never have I even think of laying a finger on her. That's just not humane. Nobody, no matter how frustrating they can be, should be hit or beaten. That's not up to you to punish her. Yes, you can scold her or point out to her what she did wrong and HOPE she will not do it again & maybe learn from her experience but what you see on this video.

To be fair, maybe this maid could have over reacted. Its just a maybe. Maybe she didn't want to go back to this employer, who knows! But whatever it is, the employer has no right to lay a hand on her like that. Like she's just a dog - even dogs are not treated like that!!

I got pretty upset looking at that video. Maybe even emotional. I know they are poor & went to far away land to earn & send their money back to their country. I know they are no angels - as I have learnt it myself, the hard way. But at the same time, the way we reprimand them shouldn't be so degrading.

I do scold my maid when she does something wrong. But I do not do name calling or hitting or whatever which could be degrading to her. It's just being human.

Please people, one hit, one punch, one drag of the hair ... it hurts. Try to have someone done on you before you ever think of doing it to another person. Love your fellow humans......

Hand-me-down?

I have lotsa clothing which my kids have outgrown too quickly. They are in pretty good condition since they have been hand washed and dried in the sun. Those are quality stuff and too beautiful to be just thrown out.

My brother recently had a baby. She is this tiny little thing. My brother is a first time daddy & was asking for a lot of advise. One thing he seems not to be opened to is hand-me-downs.

It could largely be due to his wife. And I don't really blame her. When I was a new mommy, I even got offended when people wanted to offer hand-me-downs. I felt like they took me as a bin. Where they could dump their unwanted stuff without guilt.

So when my sis-in-law refused it, I can understand where she is coming from. The sad thing comes down to me having all these still-in-good-condition stuff/toys/clothings since I maintained them well. Oh well. 

Eventually I would have to let them go. I know I should but something inside me says there will be a third baby one day even though I am very stubborn about not wanting anymore.

If that happen, I would have to invest in those all over again if I give them away.:(

Life is tough ... Will I get clucky?

I've Been Slacking

Picture this …….. you are down with cold, sipping your tea with lemon & ginger & honey, all wrapped up because you are the only one feeling cold while the rest of the world feels normal. Your head is banging most time, numb at other times, your nose blocked & your throat itch for a cough every 2 minutes ….

Every too often, you can’t help feeling sorry for yourself & it’s at this time when you start to dig up those sorry moments of your life & sms your husband like a poor little thing … no? You don’t do that? Well, maybe it’s just me …. :)

I was ill for a while - thus the reason for no blogging. Apart from being such a slack but hey, when you are unwell, aren't you given the green pass to be a slack? ;)

I was ill 3 weeks ago, got a little better but I gave my virus to my husband, very generously. He fell ill not long after I got well. When we got back from our holiday, I got it back from my husband… this time the virus was banging into the temple of my head with a vengeance! Mental note: Refrain from kissing your husband while one of you is unwell or high on virus!

Anyway, it’s times like these I feel like I have to do a lot of complaining , I guess hoping to get some sympathy. And my husband has been such a doll. He would entertain my nonsense since he knows I was just feeling very uncomfortable. Why wouldn’t he be? He also knows darn well that no matter how sick I am , I will get my butt off the bed to entertain the kids till they go to sleep. So honestly, he feels very bad when I am unwell.

Anyway, I'm so much better now. Was just that bit of complaining to you guys to keep up with my reputation while being ill.  Haha....

Losing That Baby Talk

Today I came into my daughter's room & she squealed "Mommy, stars!!!"  She pointed at the new lamp with stars on it. I suddenly realised that she said it right "Stars!"  She used to say it "Chi-Cha" As in Twinkle Twinkle Little Star - She shortened it to "Chi-Cha" for the whole sentence & had since referred to star as "Chi-Cha" .... until recently.

And I also realised that when she wants something she goes "Please, mommy, please, please!"  As if to show me that "Hey, you want me to be polite. I'm polite now. How come I still don't get it my way?" :)

I somehow felt she is growing too fast. Maybe it's pretty normal. She is able to tell the maid that she doesn't want cold milk but instead wants it warmed up, but not too hot, just warm. 

She has a whole lot of opinion over lots of things. It does make it more difficult these days jsut to get out of the door because she may not be too happy with the dress she is wearing, or her hair clip or the shoes didn't go .... Whatever.

She's only 2! I wonder how it would be at 16. These days when she is upset, the whole world can tell. Having said that, she is my first born and I did cultivate & invest more time with her. I guess secretly I expect her to be a whole lot better.

My 1 year old son - yes he is one but I feel like he is still a baby. My daughter might have grown up quicker since she knows there's another baby coming or maybe the myth about girls maturing earlier could be true.

I found myself missing my daughter's baby talk. We have never encouraged baby talk. When she said "Chi-Cha" we would gently corrected her "That's right sweetheart, it's a star." And yet, now that she said it right, I was like "Aaaw, she grew up too fast!"

Mothers! You can never please them can you?! :)

Anyway, I'm watching her grow ... and last night when both kids were giggling and laughing under the shower, I squeezed my husband's hand and whispered "Well done, hon!  We did it. Those are our 2 notorious little kids. And they are going towards independence."

It's scary. The feeling like they don't need you anymore becomes more apparent. It's little things like my daughter pushing me away at play school saying "Mommy, go home. I want friends"

Sob! Sob! Sob!  Haha ...drama queen .... i think if I am watching Mamma Mia again, (to that part whereby Meryl streep was combing her daughter's hair before her wedding & she reminisces her daughter growing up) I would probably break down in tears. Now I know how that really feels.

To be a mother. To have a part of you embedded in one (or two or more) of those tiny creatures called children.


I love them unconditionally. Whether they will love me back when they are older .... we'll see....

Flush It Down

Was just surfing the net and found HIS & HER perfect toilet. ..... Can you tell I'm a little bored? ;) Anyway, here's the verdict!

A BLING BLING toilet - Only the best! ;)

But what would be more appropriate for me is probably this one ;)

Haha ...  just trying to cheer the day up today!  ;) Have a good day everyone!

My Humble Birthday ;)

It's my birthday!!!!! Today I am 36 years young! I'm so proud to be able to celebrate another year of my life! And to survive life with the accomplishments I have achieved!

While many shy away from celebrating their birthdays, I look at it as a yearly achievement! I’m so looking forward to what the year has for me!

Last night,  my good friend flew from Germany with her lovely boyfriend. This morning, they came out of their room with a huge MERCI chocolate as a tray, some pressies on it together with a palm size candle of a cake –complete with candles burning off it!! It was so darn cute!!

Then my 2 year old daughter came running to me with a beautiful card and a box of chocolate. Wished me, hugged and kissed me … and then told me that the box of chocolate is actually hers. ;) Cheeky!

My son slept through the night last night as if he knows it’s my birthday! And my husband…. I don’t know what I’ve done right to deserve such a lovely man. He woke me up with lotsa kisses  - yes, even more than he usually smoulder me with, and a tray of beautifully made breakfast.

On it, there was a card which said all the right sweet nothings that melted my heart completely. I am so in love with this guy! ( Don't tell him that!)

So I had breakfast with lotsa extra love from everyone. Text messages, phone calls, Facebook messages, Whatsapp messages, they all came pouring in which made this day even more special than it already is.

At noon, I picked up my daughter & my husband met up with me there and off we went to Brasserie Wolf, a French restaurant at THE PIER. We were greeted warmly as usual. And since I have been lavished with too much good food in the morning, I went for their set lunch instead ... but ordered their pan seared Foie gras on top of the set lunch.

Somehow words leaked that it was my birthday… so on top of the 5 course meal I had, and the yummy ala carte foie gras, we got 2 glasses of champagne & a chocolate molten cake with ice cream & a candle on top! I was bursting at the end of it… I was so full … but completely enjoyed my meal there. They sure know how to spoil a birthday girl!

Now I’m back. Writing this blog, and then I would have to prepare some stuff for our little cozy celebration tonight. Here’s the big bang…..

1.       Spoilt birthday breakfast

2.       Lunch in a beautiful restaurant

3.       Celebration with really close friends tonight with the first cake cutting ceremony

4.       Tomorrow evening, cake cutting ceremony with my biological family

5.       Friday night, paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarty!!!!!

A bit extravagant??? Well, I survived 36 years of age when everyone said I was gonna die at birth. Isn’t that a darn good reason to be celebrating?? Haha…

Ok, I need to prepare for tonight’s bbq… write late folks!

Sweet Parting ...



" Goodbye My Lover
Goodbye My Friend
You Have Been The One
You Have Been The One For Me"

- JAMES BLUNT SONG AT THE BACKGROUND -



 

It’s hard to believe that I got all sentimental over a car. The saying, you don’t know what you have until you lose it. My husband and I bought a car together when we started getting serious in our relationship. We bought a family car. I guess it came with big hope for the future. We took turns using the car. And at one point when my office was out of town, I took the car for a while.

Then we got married…. And that was the car we used for our wedding. Well at least the local wedding. (We married twice in 2 countries) When my youngest brother go married, we used our car as well.

Then I got pregnant. For someone who was not supposed to be able to conceive (Read “MIRACLE”), we found out that I was pregnant & I remembered sobbing with joy in that car! 38 weeks later, I remembered very well putting our tiny firstborn into that car, and drove to welcome her into our home.

I remembered turning to the backseat ever so often to check if she was ok….or if the sun was too much on her… the typical worries of a new mom. It was also in that car when we held hands & just watched the sun set.

It has traces of history marked every inch of it.  And today when I saw it drove away into a tiny dot, I felt a little tightness in my heart.

I know you find me silly for being too attached to the car. Especially when my husband ended up using it more than I do eventually. But it was OUR FAMILY car. We bought the car with a hope to fill it up & we did fill it up with 2 car seats! :)

Lately, my husband has sole use of the car. He uses it to fetch us wherever we needed him, to drop my daughter to school or to help us with groceries. He would be there for us.  However, should I need to travel during the day, I usually just call for a cab instead of having him chauffer me around.

Unlike in U.S, the cabs in Singapore do not have car seats. So traveling with 2 year old & one year old can be a little difficult to handle when you also have to deal with the pram & your own stuff. Still, I managed to tolerate the inconvenience & accepted the lifestyle. While my daughter was being dropped off to school, we had the maid fetching her from school every day mid-day.

That changed recently. There was a fatal accident near where I lived. A 2 year old was in the cab with her maid. Her maid was sitting behind the driver while the 2 year old was sitting in the middle of the cab, unbuckled. The cab was hit & the 2 year old was flung through the front glass window & died instantly. It was reported that the child’s mother has reminded the maid every day to buckle her child when taking the cab home. The maid claimed that that was the first time the child wasn’t buckled. Coincidence? I don’t think so. The thing about maids is that it’s just a job. No parent could check if they actually do buckle their kids in the cab.

Anyway, since the news, I became paranoid about it & have been fetching my own child. 2 days later, I decided to get myself a car so that I can chauffer my daughter to and fro school. And when I thought about safety, no price is too expensive. I could just imagine how that parent feels losing their only child… my heart goes out to them.

So while I was in the midst of getting a car, we were discussing about the options. Everyone thought that my husband was going to sell his to buy mine. But actually we didn’t plan to do anything with his car. But an idea was planted into his brain when we talked about stuff. It’s actually true that the car seats would be in my car now and therefore during weekends he would jump into my car instead of the other way round.

So when we really thought about it, he really doesn’t need a big family car anymore does he? So we talked about it last Friday. The option of selling our first car. He called the car dealer and arranged for a viewing on Monday. We had a fantastic weekend, driving around … none of us even realised that that would be the last time we all would be cruising in that oh-so-comfortable car.

On Monday, my daughter became unwell. We drove to the clinic nearby and after that he went off to let his car being viewed. When he came back, he showed me a cheque.

Yup, that car is such a good car which has been so well maintained with very low mileage – who wouldn’t grab it. All of a sudden, my heart sank deep & I went silent. We went for dinner but I wasn’t in the mood to eat. I was quiet & inside me I felt a little confuse, trying hard to understand what just happened.

On the way home, I told my husband I didn’t think it was going to be sold that fast!

This afternoon, we left home at 1 pm to have one last spin in our car. The car that was with us since we built “US”. It was pretty sad for me. The kids were too young to understand. The hand over was supposed to be at 1:30 pm. When we arrived at our car park, the dealer was already there…. It felt like our car was on the death bed & the dealer was like the black angel pulling the plug off. It was a strange feeling. I reminded myself that it was just a car!

I looked around the car…. And found my daughter’s health book which we lost like a year ago! :) Ok, that’s not enough reason to pull me out of my sad state.

Anyway, we shook hands. Took a last picture together & we all waved till we couldn’t see the car anymore…. As we took the lift up to our apt, I felt a strange loss in my heart. Weird. It’s just a car!!! I reminded myself…. But I can’t help how I am feeling… ok…. Let me be sad & gloat about it. Hard for you to understand anyway…. But I’ll get over it….

I’ll feel better when I get my car soon! Meanwhile…. Sob! Sob! Sob!